Wait to Find the Shoes That Fit - Warrior Mom Wisdom - Week of October 8
Wait to find the Shoes that fit so that you can Dance at Homecoming
When my daughter, Faith, was in 10th grade, I took her shopping to find a dress for Homecoming. Fortunately, we found one within the first hour, and it was only 42.00 dollars. I was thrilled! We then, however, spent the next two hours looking for shoes.
Every time we found the perfect shoe, they did not have her size. On our way out of the mall, we came across a store that seemed to be made for Cinderella. There were shoes with glass heels, graciously decorated with sparkles, i.e., pretend diamonds all over the tops of them. Faith found a beautiful pair, and they even had her size. Then, she put them on. Personally, I thought they were a tad bit too high. We had been looking at shoes with a ½ inch heel. I think these particular shoes had an inch heel on them. Faith put them on and walked around the store. Faith has long legs, so the longer heel made her look that much taller. She looked as if she might fall over, but I said nothing.
“Hmm,” she said.
“What are you thinking, Faith?” I asked.
“Oh, I love them, Mom, but I think they might be a tad bit too high,” she answered.
“Why don’t you wait to find the shoes that fit just right so that you can actually dance at Homecoming,” I said.
I secretly thought that by me accidentally voicing the truth aloud, it might provoke her to do the opposite of what I suggested. I cringed for a moment after having said it. As her mom, I could tell her that she was forbidden to buy the shoes, but I thought this might be a good teaching moment. I decided to let her decide. I gave her some space, and some time. I spent the next ten minutes sitting there quietly watching the other shoppers navigate their way amid the many Cinderella slippers. Faith walked back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth, occasionally stopping and standing in front of the mirror, staring down at her beautifully decorated Cinderella feet.
“I really want them, Mom,” Faith said.
“They are pretty,” I answered. I encouraged her, hoping to disguise the fact that I didn’t want her to get them.
“Hmm, I think I’ll think about it,” said Faith. She continued to stand there and stare at her feet.
I remained silent.
“Lord, please help her make a wise choice,” I said. I remembered a time when I was her age. I wanted a pair of white Keds® so badly that I bought a pair that was ½ a size too small. I was an angry child, and I was a demanding child. My mom was an alcoholic who struggled to give me direction. She simply let me do what I wanted. When parents don’t enforce loving boundaries and rules, it makes children feel un-loved. Since I felt un-loved, I was angry. Mainly, I felt scared all the time. I learned to be angry to cover up my fear and insecurity. This type of environment caused me to react impulsively. I grew up in an impulsive environment of alcoholism, drugs, and abuse, so it wasn’t shocking that I responded in an impulsive manner to a pair of ½ size too small Keds®. Long story short, I bought the shoes. They were too small, and they hurt my feet. It provided a horrible opportunity for me to take the anger I had towards my mother and my environment and direct it inward towards myself for making such a ridiculous decision. In reflecting upon my own childhood, I realized that buying a simple pair of shoes can provide wonderful life lessons.
I decided that I was doing the right thing by providing Faith with some wisdom, some boundaries, and then an opportunity to decide for herself. I knew that she knew what the right thing to do was. Now, I just sat there and prayed that she’d make the choice that would allow her to dance at Homecoming.
Since I’m a person who thinks introspectively and poetically about the world, I broadened this concept to compare it to living a life with Christ. I know that God provides us all with many teachable moments. He gives us wisdom and direction, and then He allows opportunities that seem to be fancy shoes with heels that are too high to come across our paths, and then He quietly sits back and hopes we make the right choice. I’ve had many moments in my life when I made decisions as if I was choosing fancy shoes that had excessive high heels on them. While they looked amazing for a moment, ultimately, they were painfully uncomfortable, and they eventually caused me to fall over, flat upon my face! Fortunately, God, in His grace, extended His hand to me. The older I get, however, the more I want to make sure that I choose the type of walking shoes that provide a stable foundation as well as the opportunity to dance at my Homecoming with Christ.
Oh, but back to my story. You are probably wondering what Faith decided. Here’s a page turning answer…She decided to wait patiently and buy the shoes that would allow her to dance at Homecoming.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, at time for war and a time for peace.
The Warrior Mom Ministry was founded by Kristina Seymour, author of The Warrior Mom Handbook – Equipping Women through the Word, a Bible study for moms who desire to live by faith in the midst of their everyday lives. Kristina has learned that moms can't survive on caffeine and animal crackers alone; women in the Word and in community are united and able to stand firm. To learn more about The Warrior Mom Handbook, the Warrior Mom Ministry, and to sign up for daily encouragement, visit, www.warriormoms.net.
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