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Moments Together for Couples 8/17
by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
Christianity is full of apparent paradoxes, including one that Jesus teaches us: If we give, we will receive. Somehow a transfer takes place so that, when we give, we are enriched. We are not depleted, even if we do not see it or feel it at the time. This "Law of Giving" applies to many areas of life, but is especially relevant to self-esteem. As one woman wrote in a letter to Barbara and me, "I have realized that in giving of myself, I am actually getting in return a spouse who feels good about himself, which then makes me feel good about myself."
The world whispers to us, "You can give away only what you have. Wait until your own needs are met. Then you will be able to reach out to others and really give." But is that what Jesus meant when He said "give"?
We think not. Why? Perhaps Jesus knew that nobody ever reaches that point where all needs are met.
Perhaps you get tired of giving. You may be thinking, You don't know my mate. I don't want to give this time. I can understand a little bit-what spouse hasn't had his or her moments. But when truth is not ruling in your life, feelings are. Acting on negative feelings will not build your mate's self-image or your marriage-it will only tear down what you've already built.
Even if you feel you've given and given and given for years, please don't give up. Your mate needs you more than you realize. God sees, and He will reward you.
Theologian F.B. Meyer has said, "He is the richest man in the esteem of the world who has gotten most. He is the richest man in the esteem of heaven who has given most."
Where do you want to be the richest?
That God would help you make daily choices to put aside your own selfish desires and have a giving heart.
Discuss: How can you begin applying the "Law of Giving" in your marriage this week? Write down two or three ways.
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