Fatherhood: The Ultimate Extreme Sport
- Glenn Stanton Senior Research Analyst for Marriage Studies at Focus on the Family
- 2001 6 Jun
However, these young daredevils only fool themselves, for they have not even approached the envelope of extreme. This vaulted territory is exclusively the domain of the family man. He alone lives life on the edge of what G. K. Chesterton called, the wildness of domesticity. The home, he says, is the one wild place in the world of rules and set tasks.
French poet Charles Peguy describes the life of the family man the same way:
Family life is the most engaged life in the world. There is only one adventurer in the world, as can be seen very clearly in the modern world: the father of a family. Even the most desperate adventurers are nothing compared with him. Everything in the modern world is organized against that fool, that imprudent, daring fool against the man who is daring enough to found a family. Everything is against him. Savagely organized against him.
Indeed. But what makes family life so adventurous? Well, the same thing that makes extreme sports so fun to do or watch. The eat-it factor is sky high. You know, the reality that the whole pursuit could turn into tragedy at any moment.
Raising a family will give you a far greater rush than anything you see on these commercials. It is scary to try to hold down a job and keep the ever-increasing bills paid up. It is frightening work to develop and protect the little human beings entrusted to your care and nurturing. It is a challenge to grow a marriage because you must hold yourself out, vulnerable and open before another person, day in and day out. The risk is great because you could really get hurt, or you could hurt others. But the payoff is great, like nothing else in life, making family life the greatest paradox of life.
And family life is riddled with paradox. It is intoxicating, yet sobering. Confining, yet freeing. Demanding, yet rewarding. Fulfilling, yet depleting. Dangerous, yet safe. Unsettling, yet comforting.
I am a man fully engaged in the ultimate extreme sport, yet no other life could coax me from it. It is substantial and it is the pulse of being fully alive. It is the kind of adventure we were all created for.
Glenn would like to hear from the men in our audience. How do you view fatherhood? What is the greatest contribution you make to the family? Do you agree with Glenns perspective on fatherhood? This response can be very briefjust a sentence or twoor it can be as long as you like. E-mail your responses to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Glenn Stanton is the senior research analyst for marriage studies at Focus on the Family and the author of Why Marriage Matters. He is a home-schooling father with five little ones age 7 and under. To see some of Glenn's work, visit www.citizenlink.org.