Sex is one way God gave a husband and wife to say I love you to each other. God shows us in the Bible that sex can - and should be - a passionate, fulfilling relationship between two people.

What the Bible says about sexual fulfillment:

  • Each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control (1 Cor. 7:2-5).

  • A crucial dimension of the marital covenant is sexual fulfillment. When you marry, you should expect sexual fulfillment to take place in the marriage.

  • God considers sexually fulfilling your mate to be a marital duty. The Greek phrase translates to pay what you owe, or to pay what is due. God considers you literally indebted to sexually fulfill your mate.

  • The sexual needs of both husband and wife are given equal value and consideration. The wife doesn't exist as a sexual slave or sexual toy for her husband any more than he exists in those roles for his wife.

  • Any deprivation of sexual fulfillment must meet three requirements: (1) it must be agreed upon by both wife and husband, (2) the period of deprivation may be temporary - for a time, and (3) during the deprivation both partners should devote themselves to prayer.

  • God commands that husbands and wives resume their obligation to sexually fulfill each other quickly, before temptation overpowers either one.

  • Sexual fulfillment is more than physical. Sex isn't about just making babies. Far beyond child-producing years, we carry needs for sexual fulfillment. Sex is about becoming one with another person.

  • Spiritually, the joining of two bodies somehow brings about a union of the two spirits. When husband and wife allow themselves complete, uninhibited emotional sharing during their sexual union, the resulting ecstasy goes far beyond physical sensations.

Three priorities that should exist in your sex life together:

  1. Pay attention to your sex life. Make every effort to keep your sex life healthy. Sexually unfulfilled people can be tempted through their lack of self-control. Remove that avenue from Satan's forces by keeping your mate thoroughly sexually satisfied. Both spontaneity and planning make for a good sex life

  2. Keep the bedroom special. Never argue in the bedroom. Never discipline the children there. Never pay the bills in that room. The bedroom should be for sleeping and lovemaking. Teach your children to respect the privacy of that room.

  3. Make it your goal to be the best possible lover.

From Becoming One by Joe Beam, copyright 1999. Used by permission of Howard Publishing, W. Monroe, La., 1-800-858-4109.

Joe Beam has served as minister for growing churches in Georgia, Indiana, and Alabama. He is president of Family Dynamics Institute, a nonprofit organization that uses the latest scientific and most creative methods to strengthen families. He is the author of Seeing the Unseen, Forgiven Forever, and co-author of Fantastic Families. He and his wife, Alice, have three children.