HD: I was the typical woman who thought that the end all be all was going to be marriage. I wanted someone to go on my walks with me. I wanted someone to go shopping with me. I wanted someone to cook dinner with me and eat with me. All these kinds of things we see in chick flicks.

I was 37 when I got married. I married a "man's man" who wasn't interested in shopping or cooking. I knew that going in, but I knew he was the one. 

Our marriage started to crumble early on. We were fighting a lot, because we didn't know. We were thinking, what have we gotten intoWe are opposites. He's a man, and I'm a woman - totally opposite.  

As I started to look to God for answers instead of to Michael, Michael didn't change, but I did. Suddenly, I felt that rush of romance again like when we were dating just from spending time understanding God's purpose in my life and finding romance alone and romance in the moment, in the early morning, in all kinds of different scenarios. 

Our marriage lightened, and I could tell he didn't feel that horrible feeling of being unsuccessful with making me happy. I became giddy and joyful again. The romance didn't come first, but it started to come after that. I watched him really change.   

I think we have in our hands the ability to control the romance, not in the way we think, but by putting everything that we are longing for in the hands of the Father instead of in the hands of the man who is broken, who is sinful, who is not going to achieve what we want him to achieve.   

Thank you for your thoughts, Hayley.

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