Prayer is the backbone of a Christian marriage, but many couples are reluctant to share the time and their intimate thoughts and concerns with their spouse. Don't let busyness rob you of the closeness and intimacy of prayer. It will be time well spent - for your marriage and for God's Kingdom.

Why pray as a couple:

  • You will be following Christ's example with His church.

  • It will provide an opportunity to learn how your spouse thinks about spiritual issues.

  • It will teach you to be open with one another.

  • It will form a strong bond and make it easier for you to discern God's will for you as a couple.

  • It will bring miraculous results as you allow God to work in your marriage and family.

  • It will lower the number of disagreements between you because you will begin to be more patient with each other, and you will begin to see things from God's point of view.

  • It will lay a foundation for a spiritual legacy for your children - and their children.

How to develop a lifestyle of prayer as a couple

  • Make a decision to pray. The enemy does not want you to discover the treasure of prayer as a couple. One of his strategies is to keep you and your spouse from praying together. Today, take courage and suggest that you and your spouse begin praying together.

  • Make your spouse your prayer partner. Tremendous power is available when couples become partners in prayer. The Bible says two are better than one. There are times in your prayer life when you need others to pray with you and pray for you. Who better than your spouse who knows you best. Jesus said, Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven (Matt. 18:19).

  • Start every day with your spouse in prayer. In just a few minutes you and your spouse can be spiritually united for the tasks and challenges ahead. You can share your hopes and find mutual comfort and support in seeking God together.

  • Pray the day. While you are driving, doing laundry, making dinner, or between appointments - thank God for the day and seek His wisdom.

  • Practice the presence of God. Talk to Him as if you were talking to someone in your car or home. Make God your Friend, Counselor, and Adviser for your marriage.

  • Invest in books on prayer. If it is important to a Christian couple, they will do two things: spend time on it and spend money on it. Read it aloud to one another. Study the prayers of the Bible.

Taken from Your Wife Can Be Your Best Friend by Clarence Shuler, copyright (c) 2000. Used by permission of Moody Press, Chicago, Ill., 1-800-678-6928.

Clarence Shuler developed and managed Focus on the Family's Black Family Ministries department. He serves as co-pastor of Northview Church in Colorado Springs, Colo. He is the founder of Building Lasting Relationships, Inc., which facilitates marriage and diversity seminars that he and his wife, Brenda, do internationally. He teachers at Denver Seminary's Institute for Urban Studies and is the author of Winning the Race to Unity.