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Marriage Advice From A Christian Perspective

When two become one

  • Crissy Brookhart
  • 2000 3 Mar
  • COMMENTS
When two become one
This weekend I was a part of a beautiful wedding. Two of my best friends exchanged vows in front of their closest friends and family, and it was just amazing! I came away from the weekend happy, excited, and a little more understanding about what it is that lies ahead for me on May 27th!

Perhaps one of my favorite parts of the ceremony was the lighting of the unity candle. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's when the bride and groom each take a candle and together they light a bigger candle, a symbol of two separate lives now joining together to become one. It was a beautiful moment for Brian and Kerry, and as Todd and I talked after the wedding, we both agreed to do the same during our wedding.

It's so much more than lighting a candle though. Some may look at it as one other thing that "should" happen during a wedding ceremony. But what about what it means? Two people coming together as one before the Lord their God. That's amazing. What an honor! But you know what? I look at it as something beginning now, even before the ceremony takes place.

I believe that when you get married, you share so much more than just a physical bond, a ring on your finger, and a house. You share a love for God, dreams, goals, fears, laughter, love, memories, and sometimes the hardest thing to share, bank accounts!

But sometimes I think that couples really do get so caught up in the actual ceremony and the thought of being married, that they forget the actual journey they're about to embark upon together. Marriage is so much more, as I'm quickly learning. When you get engaged, not only do you have to consider your wedding, but more importantly, you need to start considering your MARRIAGE.

You see, I believe that when you get engaged, the commitment is there, the love is there, and all you really need is a marriage license and the ceremony. But marriage, to me, officially starts in your heart when you commit to each other to spend the rest of your lives together.

So in that sense, Todd and I have already begun our journey to becoming "one." We're preparing our hearts and minds for our future together by diving into the Bible, reading books on marriage and love, seeking the Lord and His will together, and also going through premarital counseling. This marriage for us is FOREVER. No doubts, no turning back, no fear. We dedicate our lives and relationship to the Lord every day, and thank him endlessly for blessing us with each other.

Oh trust me, it's hard to think that in less than three months I will no longer be living for my own purposes as a single woman. Now I'm committed to living with my husband forever and putting his needs above my own. It's a hard thought at times, but then again, it's the most wonderful feeling ever. In my heart, I'm already married. All I need now is to stand in front of God, my friends and family, and commit to Todd at the wedding ceremony. There, we will "officially" become one in legal terms. But as far as I'm concerned, we are already one in Christ because of our commitment individually and together to Him, and to me, that's the most important aspect of it all.

Todd and I are reading through The Five Love Languages. Do you all have any other suggestions for good books on Christian marriage and love? Share your ideas in the Wedding Forum.

Send a note to Crissy.