What It Takes to Co-Parent
- Tom and Adrienne Frydenger
- Published Apr 10, 2001
Stepfamilies present unique problems of discipline. Biological and stepparents often manifest marked differences in their approaches to discipline. And, unlike regular marriages, children have had years of dealing with one parent's approach to discipline. These differences can destroy the marital relationship or the blended-family unit - or both. Co-parenting means that with one another, together, they should parent all the children in the household.
Discipline and limit-setting should do more than keep children out of trouble: they should help them develop lifestyles that will benefit them in the years to come.
How to discipline children in blended families:
- Adopt a parental attitude. As a parent to all of the children in the new family, you are to:
- Express love and affection toward your children.
- Set an example.
- Be consistent.
- Develop your children's self-esteem.
- Give your children a sense of belonging in the family.
- Teach your children to be responsible.
- Train your children spiritually.
- Be responsible for your children's education.
- Treat your children with respect and require respect in return.
- Discipline your children.
- Express love and affection toward your children.
Tom Frydenger, a marriage and family counselor, owns and directs a Christian counseling center in Decatur, Ill. Adrienne Frydenger, a writer, speaker, and homemaker, joins Tom in hosting a daily radio program, Caring for You. They have also written The Blended Family. They are the parents of three children in their own blended family, and conduct workshops around the country. Visit their web site, The Caring Connection.
From Stepfamily Problems by Tom and Adrienne Frydenger. Used by permission of Baker Book House, Grand Rapids, Mich. Copyright (c) 1991 by Tom and Adrienne Frydenger. All rights to this material are reserved. Materials are not to be distributed to other web locations for retrieval, published in other media, or mirrored at other sites without written permission from Baker Book House Company.