When You're Single on Valentine's Day
- Thursday, February 06, 2014
For someone single, Valentine's Day is one of the worst days in the calendar. It can be hard when everyone around you is receiving flowers, teddies, and cheesy cards. Even harder when the present is an engagement ring.
I dreaded February. I just got over the fact that I was alone for Christmas. Now I have to deal with February and Valentine's? Come on!
For me, Valentine's Day was just one big disappointment. It was always a letdown when I did not receive anything. No flowers. No chocolates. Not even a card from a secret admirer.
But Valentine's Day became an even bigger disappointment when I did receive something...from someone for whom I had no romantic interest whatsoever!
An even bigger disappointment, because with a gift there was anticipation and hope. But that expectation was immediately replaced by a giant, sinking feeling. "Argh! What do I do now?"
Then the questions:
1) Have I given ______ the wrong idea? How can I make it clearer that I am NOT interested in a relationship
Which leads to:
2) Am I too picky? _____ is a lovely Christian. Everyone says so, especially my mother. But I just don't think he's my type. Or am I too picky? Argh!!
Extreme inner anguish, emotional turmoil, and perhaps even heated arguments with my mother about why I am just so darn picky. Like I said, even more disappointment.
So, if you are avoiding Valentine's Day more than a visit to the dentist, here's a few thoughts to help you cope with the onslaught of romance.
Remember, you have chosen to be single this Valentine's Day.
It takes a lot of confidence to choose to be alone, especially around holidays. The world is full of lonely people looking to hook up. Many people are in bad relationships because they cannot bear to be alone.
You have chosen not to hook up with just anyone. You want to be with the right one. Good on you! It is rare. So keep it up. It's God's best for your life.
It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home (Proverbs 25:24).
It is better to be alone than with the wrong person. Stick to your guns.
Be nice to yourself.
Valentine's Day can often lead to inner musings of, "Why am I still single? Am I too fat? Am I unattractive? Am I boring? Am I completely dysfunctional and socially inept? Am I a loser?"
No. You are lovely. You are a royal prince or princess. You are a good person, and a great catch!
Be nice to yourself this Valentine's Day. Don't let your mind sink into depression. When negative thoughts pop into your head, get rid of them instantly. You are not responsible for weird thoughts, just how you deal with them. Value yourself and be confident in who you are. You are a prize.
You are a royal son or daughter. Your future marriage partner will delight in your inner and outer beauty. Think positivity.
Take a risk.
People are looking for love around this time of year and many open themselves up to a new relationship.
Sometimes a single person can be her own worst enemy. Yes, I'm talking to you. It's okay to take risks. It's okay to go on a date, speed date, blind date. You're sensible. You won't do anything stupid. Love means taking risks.
Don't be like the urban legend where a man died drowning, while believing for a miracle. God sent a boat, and a helicopter, but the man refused help. "I'm believing that God will save me," he told them.
Then when he arrived in Heaven, he questioned the Lord, "Why did I drown? I believed You could save me." And God replied, "I know, that's why I sent the boat and the helicopter."
Sometimes we wait for divine intervention, when God has delivered the answer right before our eyes. Take a leap of faith. It might be the best thing you've ever done. And if it isn't? Well, that's the thing with risks. You win some, you lose some. You gave it a shot.
Whatever Valentine's Day holds for you, make it a happy one. Remember this: the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13)
Sarah Coleman is an Australian author and communicator. Her books include Single Christian Female and Make Yourself Amazing. She is passionate about the Kingdom of God. She also loves being a wife and mother to two boys. To read more of Sarah's thoughts go to sarahcoleman.com.au.
Publication date: February 6, 2014
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