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Trapped by Two Incomes

Steve Scalici, CFP(r)

Treasure Coast Financial

There is a popular saying I’m sure you’ve heard:  Two heads are better than one. Often times, we may hear someone say two incomes are better than one. But, I believe this type of thinking can actually trap families - particularly mothers - in a well of family stress. 

The truth is, after taxes and other work related expenses including clothing, daycare, automobile expenses, takeout meals and so on, most second incomes add little if any real dollars to a family’s bottom line. 

In The Four Laws of Debt Free Prosperity, author Blaine Harris makes this statement: “Your level of expenses will always rise to your level of income unless you protest to the contrary.” That’s simply a fancy way of saying, “You spend what you make.” It has been my experience that most families can, in fact, make it on one income. Now, occasionally, I do meet a couple where it just isn’t possible because the income is simply too low. But, those are the exceptions rather than the rule, and the reality is most two income families could live on one income. In fact, most want to but just don’t see how they can. The problem comes when the line between true needs and wants begin to crumble, and families find themselves falling into the “two income trap.” Below are some of the dangers we find in the trap:

1.   Because we spend what we make, we grow accustomed to a certain lifestyle that is predicated on two incomes. Once we have settled into a certain lifestyle, it seems impossible for one parent to stay home. But, very rarely would the decision to move to one income result in having to cut into providing for the basic needs of our families. 

2.  Working mothers often share with me that they spoil their children out of guilt for working. So, they end up spending money to make up for lost time. That never has - and never will - work. 

3.  The most overlooked cost faced by double-income families is the physical toll it takes on mothers

My good friend Brant Hanson has this to say about the stress working mothers face:

If she's stressed out every night, because of her job, let her quit her job. If you can't afford it, afford it. Sell stuff. Move. Rent. Forget the college fund. Don't buy dumb cars and houses and stuff to make yourself feel cool, and miss out on a joyous, stress-limited marriage. She can take care of herself. It'll give her time, and energy, to love her children, her neighbors, and you.

So you bought her a nice car? Who gives a rip? She'd rather drive an old mini-van and have you around, living life together at a sweet, beautiful pace. Even if she doesn't think she wants this, she does.

Quit buying junk and live in a trailer if you have to.

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Most Recent User Comments
rkasika
5/27/2007 12:51 AM
This is very true. We become so trapped in keeping up with the Jones's that we forget why God created us in the first place. Money and material things should not be our focus in this life, so much that we neglect the needs of our children, especially the spiritual needs. I believe the parents are in the best position to train children spiritually, and that is not very effective when they are out "making money" all the time. Now, if only my husband felt the same way!
mercredi38
5/21/2007 8:28 PM
I have to applaud this author.We have chosen a prosperity gospel in this country over an authentic relationship with our spouses and more importantly God. How I long and pray that as American Christians we would just "get" what really matters in this life.

That nothing compares to knowing Christ - NOTHING. And that in order to do that, one of us needs to stay home if at all possible.

What is the cost of knowing Christ and how do you pay for it? You pay with the sacrifice of giving up your worldly rights to dreams and career and stuff and say:"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ" Phil3:8

Not that we can't have dreams; not that we can't have goals - but unless they are HIS goals, His dreams it's all just stuff that will melt away in flames having accomplished nothing.
orkidea
5/16/2007 4:59 PM
I agree with the basic idea behind this article - that we don't always need as much money as we think we do, and that it's important to prioritize one's family above one's career. However, I have to take issue with the sentiment expressed at the end of the article: "Even if she doesn't think she wants this, she does." This sentence implies that a husband can judge better than his wife what she wants, and encourages him to make unilateral decisions about his wife's career. To do this would be neither respectful nor loving.



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