Here are three principles to follow when making a big financial decision like this.

1. Be willing to grow through the experience. Buying a house is stressful. But stress can either dampen discernment or spur growth.

For example, Greg and Sara were planning to buy a house. Sara had grown up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood, dreaming of owning a home. Greg, on the other hand, grew up in family that sometimes had trouble paying its bills. Now, as Sara stood on the verge of realizing her dream, Greg focused on the financial burdens that home ownership could bring.

They prayed about their decision. But instead of seeking God’s guidance, each of them seemed to be telling Him what to do. It wasn’t until they concentrated on finding out what God might have in store for them that they began to receive answers. When they stopped trying to dictate their future based on their pasts, they learned valuable lessons about humility, faith, and sound judgment.

2. Communicate and prioritize together. You might start by making a “pros and cons” list about buying a house. This will give the two of you something to look at, discuss, and pray about.

Listen carefully to each other’s desires and concerns. You can’t both listen at the same time, so decide who’ll speak first.

3. Seek counsel. A trusted real estate agent can be your best ally. Don’t hesitate to ask questions, including the question of which mortgage lender the agent trusts most.Another potential resource: people who’ve recently gone through the home-buying process. Ask them plenty of questions, too.

Excerpted from The First Five Years of Marriage (Tyndale House Publishers.). Copyright (c) 2006 by Focus on the Family. General Editors: Phillip J. Swihart, Ph.D. and Wilford Wooten, L.M.F.T. All rights reserved. Used with permission.