Don't be an enabler. Decide that you won't cover up for someone else - a family member, friends, or co-worker - who is in debt. Don't use money to do for others what they can and should do for themselves. Don't take responsibility for someone else's debts, or give or loan someone money without considering the consequences to yourself. Never co-sign for loans with which you are uncomfortable.
Don't settle for less than you can earn. Don't under-earn because you think you don't deserve more, you're afraid of failing if you accept a more challenging job, you're afraid of the changes success would bring to your life, you're afraid of competition, you don't want to make a commitment to a job, or you don't want to be noticed. Be proactive and creative at discovering how you can earn more money. Don't expect someone else to take care of you; take responsibility for your own income.
Acknowledge your own needs. Don't discount the importance of your own needs in order to gain acceptance from others. Invest in the things you need without feeling guilty about it. Have the courage to say "no" when people ask you to do something unreasonable for them.
Don't become a pauper. If large sums of money make you uncomfortable, don't automatically spend it or give it away. Ask God to give you the confidence you need to handle money responsibly.
Practice spiritual disciplines. Renew your mind and heart by practicing spiritual disciplines that will help you approach life in a healthier way - including how you deal with money. Make time on a regular basis to study (the Bible, financial books, etc.), surrender (releasing people and situations to God's care), serve others as God leads you, listen for God's voice in silence, simplify your life so that it reflects your core values, become solvent (able to pay all that you owe), and enjoy serenity (the deep inner peace that comes from communing with God).
Build a support system. Stay connected to people who will help you as you change the way you deal with money. Seek advice and support from friends and counselors. Start a journal. Affirm the positive changes you notice in your life. Trust that God will complete the good work He has started in you.
Adapted from Addicted to Shopping and Other Issues Women Have with Money, copyright 2005 by Karen O'Connor. Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Or., www.harvesthousepublishers.com.
Karen O' Connor is a sought-after speaker, writing consultant, and the award-winning author of 40 books, including Getting' Old Ain't for Wimps; Help, Lord! I'm Having a Senior Moment (more than 100,000 copies sold) Basket of Blessings, and In Step with Your Stepchildren. She has appeared on national radio and television programs such as The 700 Club, 100 Huntley Street, Life-Style Magazine, and the Sally Jessy Raphael Show.
