I was right. Undeniably, un-arguably, hands-down right. I don't exactly remember all the details on what I was right about, but I can tell you it had something to do with a Wal-Mart gift card that his parents gave me for my birthday, which he wanted to use for car accessories. And this was a big deal because I do not get to be that right that often.

I imagine some background is necessary... My husband, Geoff (known as 'my king' on good days), is the calmest, most literal, black-and-white guy around. He does not 'freak out', he does not 'have cows', he does not go on rampages, nor does he become irrational or unmanageable. These are traits common to me, which (unfortunately) I am well practiced in. And while I freely admit that it is I, who generally behaves badly and instigates most conflicts, there are times when 'my king' can, and does, transform into an Ogre. This was one of them. And I was really excited about that because it is not often that I get to freak out about something almost justifiable.

Geoff worked the swing shift back then so I had plenty of time that morning to foster my hurt feelings; to fall back to my 'old nature' for counsel; to become indignant; to ponder the injustice of it all; and then to launch a full-blown attack. Usually when Geoff sees me about to detonate he is quick to calm the situation, but on this dark and tempestuous day (and to my surprise), he countered! Not only that...he refused to back down and even called me-- the one clearly in the right-- 'selfish' and 'spoiled' and 'contentious'. ME! I was shocked and flabbergasted. The man who rarely got ruffled and who generally resisted being pulled into battle was practically loading the gun for me. What sport!

By the time he was ready to leave for work he still refused to budge. As he was walking out the door I let him know it wasn't over and to come home prepared for the onslaught I would have ready later that night. He sighed, looked down squarely in my face, tilted his head and commented, "You know, Jen, you are really ugly when you're angry" and then shot out the door before I could find something dangerously heavy to throw. But that was fine by me-- he just hurt my feelings even worse; simply translated... more ammo. It mattered little that my young daughters were all in earshot and taking mental notes to store in their, 'How to Be a Wife' folder. Frightful! They do not stop learning when our homeschool is out for the day. This is when the 'real life' lessons are learned. Was I humbled at the thought? No...I was too busy drawing up battle plans.   

The next several hours were dedicated to the impending war. Memories were drudged up, scenes were imagined, and hurtful words were scripted. I was ready. I was good and mad and fully prepared to do some damage. My flesh was totally in control-- so you can imagine how torn I was when my Heavenly Father-in-Law (who gave me His son, Geoff, whom I was trying to destroy) stepped in with a shocking suggestion.

Now, I am not a subjective person. I am skeptical of those who come with stories claiming that 'God called down from heaven and spoke to them directly'. But who else could have planted such an outrageous, unthinkable, irrational thought in my rebellious little head? It was put on my heart, gently and very clearly, "Bake that man a cake." It was not me who would have thought such a thought. It was heinously out of place.

"Forget it," I nearly said out loud, "I'm so sure! The one time I can finally triumph, the one time I can finally be right, You want me to deny myself the victory and just 'let it all go'? He'll think he was right all along, and then he won't change. And furthermore, do You seriously want me to reward such bad behavior by baking the Ogre a cake? Ogres don't deserve cake! They deserve...well, they deserve flies and toads, slimy sludge-filled bogs and other horrible things". This seemed like a really good argument, and I was pretty proud about my quick thinking.

...But then that voice came again, "And what do Hags deserve?"

[Editor's Note: Continued next week!]

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Jenefer Igarashi is the Senior Editor of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine for homeschoolers. Jenefer and her husband, Geoff, have six children ranging from ages 2-16, specifically 3 girls and 3 boys. To reach Jenefer for comment on this piece, email her at JenIg@TheHomeschoolMagazine.com.
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