I think the hardest job of being a parent is the whole kids part of it. I'm a pretty splendid parent on the nights when Geoff has all six of them and I'm over at a homeschool support group party eating lasagna and blueberry muffins. Yep, but it can be a little trickier when the kids are actually around. My spiffy parenting skills look mighty different on those other days when I've been cooped up for a long stretch inside a messy house. Those are the days that I'm banging my head against the cupboards chewing on Lego pieces and muttering state capitals to myself.

When my kids were still little (and only half of them had been born), I used to hear parents saying things like, "Having kids is such a scary responsibility," or "Boy, when they become teenagers life takes on a whole new direction." I thought they were rattling off mandatory phraseology to sound as if they were working hard at a relatively easy job. After all, my couple-of-kids wasn't that hard to maintain. Change a diaper, give them some food, squish their fat little bodies into clean clothes and sing a couple songs during the day ... no sweat. It never seemed like a monumental challenge to me. Sure, the first three or four years were messy and noisy (and could be pretty boring), but other than that, it was a snap. For sure, kids are little sponges, willing to please their parents, and if you're consistent you can make them do pretty much anything you want them to. And they're cute and pudgy and smell nice after you've bathed them.

Seventeen years later, I'm starting to rethink my original position. I think a lot of what I would consider "hard" is the ongoing persistence of it all, not to mention the reality that they grow into individual human beings who will come to a place where I, as a parent, am no longer thinking for them. And there is no money-back guarantee that our kids will automatically adopt our philosophies, our convictions, or even our God. Yipes. Did I sign up for that? I do not remember that being part of the agreement.

By God's grace, up to this point, my kids are all still "practically perfect." But since it's a known fact (according to the "world's" experts) that all teenagers must go through a rebellious "pulling away phase," I keep waiting for our 17-year-old to go off the deep end and do something truly heinous. But so far, it's been pretty sure and steady. As of yet, she hasn't done anything to shock the family and make us rethink all the child training we implemented. On the contrary, she keeps getting more likable, more trustworthy and more mature. I don't know if that is normal, but it sure makes life easier.

Truthfully, there is a lack of success stories and good examples to feel encouraged and inspired by. There are definitely some, and I am thankful for those, but that still doesn't change the fact that there isn't any secret recipe on the market that guarantees that every one of our children will turn out to follow all of our beliefs. Don't get me wrong--I do think it is possible, and there are safeguards that we are wise to follow after as well as a tremendous amount of good information available; however, when we get to a certain point we cannot force them to do anything. They will eventually have to choose for themselves. They are not ours forever. As adults, parents lose the authority to dictate the who, what, where, when, and how. I know--I don't like it either.