Editor's Note: Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family?  Dr. David will address two questions from Crosswalk readers in each weekly column. Submit your question to him at TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com.

Dear Dr. David,

My husband is an alcoholic. He works every day and we split all bills in half. I’m on disability. I found six women’s phone numbers in his cell phone, and one of the women he was going with when we were separated. When I asked him about it he blew up and cursed me out. My response was to tell him to stand up and be a man; if you do not want to be with me just say so, but he will not say anything about what happened. He just wants to keep going along like nothing has happened, but I feel betrayed. I am saved but he is not. When I told my sister in Christ, she said to “forget about it,” but I don’t want him to touch me. ~ Feeling Betrayed

Dear Betrayed,

Clearly you are suffering and struggling both in your marriage and your life. In addition to the relational turmoil that alcoholism brings, you now find women’s phone numbers on your husband’s cell phone, which must be particularly frightening.

You are in a most difficult situation. As with most problems, there are layers of issues. You need to sort them out, one by one.

First, you need to address his alcoholism. With any addiction come other issues. The same drug that brings temporary relief causes endless problems. An intervention is necessary. Consider calling an alcohol treatment facility and discussing the possibility of an intervention.

Second, you need to find a way to address the underlying issues that are creating an atmosphere where your husband seeks satisfaction outside the home. Please don’t read this to mean that you are causing his unfaithfulness, and apparent dishonesty. He is solely responsible for that. However, you are responsible for how you approach him, and for your part in creating safety where he can talk about what he’s feeling and thinking.

You also note that your husband is not saved. Without the Spirit of God regenerating his heart, he will probably live according to the world’s standards, leading to even more destruction in the future. Consider gathering Christian friends to join you in prayer, not only for wisdom in how to handle these problems, but also for his salvation. You should also pray for wisdom for how to conduct yourself so that by your behavior you may win him to the Lord. (II Peter 3)

Having said that, should you simply “forget about it,” pretending that nothing has happened? Of course not. That is not only irresponsible on your part, but enables his destructive and addictive behavior. I’ve said before, and emphasize this in my book, When Trying to Change Him is Hurting You, that enabling destructive behavior is hurtful to everyone. Setting healthy boundaries is not only Scriptural (Galatians 6) but responsible.