One reason is that men feel they are the conqueror's at first, then, surprise, get conquered afterward. I have been in "good" churches all my life, and struggled to resist my marriage becoming the domain of the church, especially the women of the church, who, many times accuse the men of being inherently anti-marriage. My sense is that marriage is God's domain in our lives. If it's focused entirely on me, our separate "needs", it fails, spiritually. The real God must be trusted and recognized as the keeper of my soul first, then marriage, and other areas of our lives, not the social order of church or what psychologists say.

I could never live up the the expectations expressed as I mentioned above, but God in Christ had accepted me, I don't have to perform to gain His acceptance and love. In marriage however, it has almost all been about performance and comparing. That scares men away like nothing else.