Overcoming the addictions we have faced in our marriage began with one spouse being patient and visibly hurt, but not retaliatory. Then came a desire to change (repent) fueled by the love for God and my spouse. "Lead us not into temptation" guided us to remove the temptations from our midst. In your case, you may have easy access to the temptations of materialism -- internet/media/urban living/status-conscious friends, or even a materialist church.

I am a real estate broker, and yet there's something about living the country that offers us a degree from the allure of materialism so rampant in my line of work. Your precious wife needs to be drawn away from her temptations (money, media, unhealthy relationships) and drawn out on an adventure, where she will need to trust God and you each step of the way. You might try investing in the company of some chickens, goats and a milk cow in an old farm house in the country. With each swing of the hammer you will be repairing your love

First of all, I am thrilled that there is an area at Crosswalk.com that is open to discussions such as this that are pertinent to family relationships. I have found that money is an issue in many marriages--no matter what the family income might be. For some reason, it seems that women spend more on "little things", such as clothes, fragrances, gifts and home decorations. Men tend to push the limit on "big things", like cars, boats, vacations and power tools. Either way, people spend money on what makes them feel good about themselves. What bothers me most about the article is the fact that only one side of the story is heard, and that side is automatically treated as truth. Having been in a similar situation, I can easily surmise that much of the problem may not be an addiction to spending, but a negative reaction to a spouse who is trying to control her spending. She buys something, he gets upset, so she soon learns to not tell him what she bought. Both partners need counseling.

HI! Reading this article reminded me of my nephew & his wife! As long as SHE has a check book SHE spends money, whether there's money enough in the bank to cover the cheks she writes or not! This has caused alot of trouble for them & because of it, they are having to live with HER mother, in a two bedroom trailer with 6 people living there, (HER mother& sister, & She & my nephew & their two kids)! She's ALWAYS grumbling about NOT HAVING ENOUGH MONEY! My nephew made her get her own bank account, but that didn't help, 'cause even then, when she bounces a check, HE RUNS IN TO BAIL HER OUT, by paying for them & the overdrafts they cause, so SHE doesn't get arrested for it! He's talked to her about, He's joked around about it, trying to get through to her & they've argued about it! But NOTHING has worked, so far! I don't know what he's going to do! I've "SUGGESTED" that he divorce her, but that just made him mad at me!
Thanks for your words of wisdom. Maybe they will help!