I have somewhat became an addict to that myself unfortunately and i really do believe i have a close relationship to God. I pray daily to end my addiction but the thoughts and urges keep coming in my head till i cannot fight it anymore. I feel ashamed and father from God when ever i do it. I just ask whoever can to pray along with me to end this addiction. A lot of the things you said that caused the addiction actually have occurred in my life. I thank you for writing this and would appreciate it if you send me an email so i may converse with you...triniboy369@yahoo.com