Editor's Note: Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family?  Dr. David will address questions from Crosswalk readers in each weekly column. Submit your question to him at TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com.

Dear Dr. David,

I just listened to your program on Moody Bible Institute Internet. I loved it!!!!!!!!! I appreciate the great advice you gave. I have been praying for my CrazyMaker, and my dealings with him for four months. I am a Christian, and he is not. He is my daughter’s father -- we were never married.

Three months before our wedding I found out he was cheating on me with two women. One of the women got pregnant, and he broke it off with her, and we tried to work our relationship out. We really never should have been together -- I see that now. I really did love him. Now, I don't really even like him. He is very controlling and has a bad temper and no morals to speak of. He is not paying child support because he is not working. He gets mad because he only gets our daughter every other weekend. He asks why I don't let him have her more, and I have tried to give him opportunities to do that but he always takes advantage of it or doesn't show up. I am at my wits end with him, and don't know how to deal with him.

How do I deal with him? I can't have a rational conversation with him.  I have told him that what happens with our daughter is between us, not me and him and his wife. I feel like screaming, but I know that does nothing, so can you give me some advice? I have a very precious five-year-old who unfortunately is getting hurt. Please give me some hope here. ~ Stuck with a CrazyMaker

Dear Stuck,

You are discovering what many have realized. It is very easy to get “hooked” by a CrazyMaker. As I review your email, I note that your ex-boyfriend is “controlling and has a bad temper and no morals to speak of.” This speaks volumes as to his character.

I also note that you gave him numerous opportunities in spite of his record of irresponsibility. I suspect your frustration comes from allowing him these freedoms in your life, and then resenting him when he fails to follow through.

CrazyMakers, as I write about extensively in my book, Dealing With the CrazyMakers in Your Life, find ways to manipulate us, and then turn the tables on us by making all the problems seem like our fault. They avoid taking responsibility, and efforts to make them do so are often met with frustration. They are generally slippery, deceptive and very manipulative.

The key to your sanity is boundaries. Don’t fall into the trap of believing he will act differently next time. Don’t expect that he will be responsible, and allow his history to fully impact you. 

You also must protect your daughter. This means not placing her in a position where she will also be disappointed, again and again. Stick to the legally prescribed visitation schedule, and don’t deviate from it. Conversations should be business-oriented only. Move forward with living your life, and allow him to live his. Should he fail to follow the agreed Parenting Plan, you may need to revisit this from a legal perspective.  

While this course of action may seem harsh, it is your only preventative strategy to sanity for yourself and your daughter.

To our readers: Please write and let me know how you have effectively dealt with an ex-spouse when it comes to relating about children you have together. What works, and what doesn’t?