It’s a bond that can seem mysterious and elusive – but it’s one that is essential to have the marriage that God intended for you. So today we have a question for you: Are you and your mate on the same page spiritually?

It’s relatively easy to understand the emotional intimacy that creates a heart-to-heart bond as well as the physical intimacy that brings a couple together body-to-body. But every couple also needs soul-to-soul closeness. If you want to enjoy the deepest level of connection, you need to develop spiritual intimacy in your relationship.

Bonding spiritually can be a puzzling area for husbands and wives. Even if you both set a goal to grow together spiritually, you may have difficulty deciding how to get there. And if only one of you wants to pursue spiritual depth in your relationship, you will face additional struggles.

But here’s what you need to know: Spiritual intimacy occurs when you as husband and wife surrender your lives and relationship to the Lord. You grow together spiritually when you live out your marriage relationship according to God’s ways and aim to please him in all things.

The sad truth is, most of our world doesn’t understand spiritual intimacy in marriage. And sadly, many Christian couples haven’t grasped this profound truth either. But when husbands and wives truly begin to understand the significance of a marriage of three, their relationships begin to flourish.

So how do you know if your marriage is lacking spiritual intimacy? Here are some telltale signs you’re missing spiritual intimacy in your relationship:

• You may experience conflict in many areas. The spiritual dimension provides the foundation for how the game of life is to be played. It’s tough to play well in marriage if you and your spouse don’t equally value God and Scripture. You wouldn’t want to play a game of baseball if people didn’t agree on the rules. It’s true of marriage as well.
• You may feel incomplete. You may be on top of your game in every other area of your relationship, but if you don’t connect spiritually, you will always feel like something is missing – because the most important element is missing! Without a spiritual connection you miss out on the closeness and joy God intends. The deepest part of your spouse will go unexplored, leaving the greatest joys of your marriage untapped.
• You may lack a firm foundation for your marriage commitment. The Bible declares marriage to be a sacred, unbreakable union. But without that biblical foundation in your life, it is easy to see marriage as an arrangement of convenience rather than commitment. And when it is no longer convenient, you want out.
• You may lack boundaries for guarding your marriage. The Bible provides absolute standards for right and wrong. God’s people enjoy confidence that the boundaries they live by were erected by a kind and loving God. But without spiritual dimension, your marriage lacks God’s protection and provision.

For many couples, finding spiritual intimacy in their marriage is one of the toughest things they’ve ever tried to do. Many things can stand in the way. From our experience, there are three major hurdles to spiritual intimacy: