Let God alone do the judging. Don’t assume that your husband’s sins are worse than your own. There is no sliding scale of sins; any sin separates people from God and costs Him the same price – Jesus’ blood. So both you and your husband are equally in need of God’s forgiveness and grace. Nurturing a superior attitude or holding onto bitterness is just as much of a sin as any sexual sin your husband has committed. Instead of judging your husband, trust God – the only one who truly knows the state of his soul – to judge him.

Face reality. No matter how you may try to deny the full impact of your husband’s addiction – by minimizing it, rationalizing it, spiritualizing it, or blaming it on some type of circumstance – the reality is that it’s a serious issue with serious consequences. Acknowledge this truth and trust God to help you deal with it, since no situation is too big for Him.

Set boundaries for yourself. Recognize that, in your emotionally wounded state, you’re especially vulnerable to falling into sexual sin yourself. Be sure to set boundaries in your life to help prevent starting an affair with another man who gives you the attention your husband has denied you.

Change your expectations. Grieve the loss of the expectations you had for your marriage before you discovered your husband’s sexual addiction. Then ask God to give you a new set of expectations for the future, and follow God into that future with hope.

Believe your husband’s behaviors, not just his words. Be cautious about responding to what your husband says about his intentions to change. When you hear his promises, look for actual behavior changes to back them up. Trust your husband’s actions (which you can observe) rather than just his words. Ask your husband to make himself accountable to some other men who will help him recover, like a pastor, counselor, and members of a support group. Place appropriate safeguards in place (like financial controls and computer monitoring and filtering) to help your husband avoid future temptation. Whenever you see evidence of new, healthy behavior, let him know how much you appreciate it.

Find people to support you. Look for a Christian counselor with experience dealing with sexual addiction issues, and open up to some other people you trust to help you as you go through the healing process. Seek out people who are nonjudgmental, respectful, objective, humble, will listen to you well, and will point you to Jesus. If you’re not already part of a church, find a healthy one and join. Look for a support group to join, as well.

Replace lies with the truth. Think about what lies you tell yourself regularly about your own value as a person, about your marriage, and about your husband. Write them down. Then, for each one, find a Scripture passage that refutes those lies with biblical truth.