Deal wisely with your anger. Instead of suppressing your anger or expressing it in explosive ways, make time to think through the issue that’s making you angry and turn to God for guidance on how best to respond. Let the Holy Spirit – not your emotions – lead you. Pray for the ability to understand the motive behind your anger and how you should express it in each situation. Don’t delay dealing with your anger; handle it every day to ensure your continued health and spiritual growth.

Give grace to your husband. Ask God to give you His perspective on your husband, so you’ll be able to see how much pain he is in and how much he needs grace. While you need to hold your husband accountable for his actions, you need to do so out of love for him, not pride. Let your gratitude for the grace that God has given you motivate you to extend grace to your husband. Choose to act in loving and patient ways with your husband, whether or not you think he deserves it.

Forgive. Since God has forgiven you, He expects you to forgive others who hurt you – including your husband. Choose to do so, despite your feelings, knowing that you can count on God to help you through the forgiveness process. Pray about all the layers of issues that your husband’s addiction has brought up, relying on God’s power working through you to forgive. Let go of bitterness so it won’t poison your soul, and enjoy the freedom you experience after you forgive.

Remember your value. Your self-worth can take a beating from betrayal. Ask God to help you see yourself from His perspective, so you can understand that you’re incredibly valuable and beautiful in His eyes. List some of your best personal qualities, and thank God for them.

Be honest with your children. If you have children, admit that you’re experiencing trouble in your marriage (no matter how old they are, they already know anyway). Answer all of their questions honestly, trusting God to guide your timing and words. Ask them to pray for you and let them know that you’ve placed your hope in Jesus.

Dream about the future. Pray specifically about each of your dreams for the future, asking God to help you let go of the ones that don’t reflect His plans for you and to embrace His dreams for your life – which are better than you could ever dream on your own. Look forward to more healing and a good future ahead.

Adapted from Hope After Betrayal: Healing When Sexual Addiction Invades Your Marriage, copyright 2007 by Meg Wilson. Published by Kregel Publications, a division of Kregel, Inc., www.kregelgospelcom.net.

Meg Wilson is the founder of Healing Hearts Ministry, offering help and hope to women whose husbands are caught in the web of sexual addiction. A regular speaker to women’s groups, Bible studies, and conferences, Meg has been involved in ministry since her teenage years. Meg and her husband, Dave, have been married for 24 years and have two children. They make their home in Washington.