Divide household responsibilities fairly. Figuring out who will do what chores around the house will help you and your spouse avoid power struggles that damage your marriage. Don’t keep score about which one of you is working harder at any given time. Remember that you both work hard to contribute to your family in different ways. Show respect and appreciation to each other for all of your efforts. Think about how you can serve each other rather than worrying about how you’re being served. Take a hard look at your expectations of each other’s household loads to consider whether or not they’re realistic. Sit down together to make a list of all the chores that need to get done. Discuss what’s most important to each of you, what you’re each good at doing, and what you each dislike doing. Then assign each other the chores that best fit. Don’t nag; instead, encourage each other’s efforts.

Build healthy relationships with your parents and in-laws. Do all you can to try to have positive relationships with your parents and in-laws. Set boundaries and ground rules for respect. Seek forgiveness and reconciliation for times you’ve hurt each other in the past. Work with your spouse to present a united front when communicating with them. Talk about stressful issues calmly yet firmly. Adjust your expectations to reflect the reality of who they really are – not just who you’d like them to be. Defuse negative comments with a positive attitude and humor.

 Mesh your social styles well. If you’re an extrovert and your husband is an introvert – or vice versa – work on discovering how your personalities can complement each other, and how you can have fun together. Get to know what motivates both you and your spouse, and why. Don’t push your spouse to do something that makes him or her uncomfortable, like making small talk at a crowded party for an introvert or sitting on a lake fishing all day for an extrovert. Be creative about finding activities you can both enjoy together. Purposefully try to make each other feel loved and cared for.

Manage money wisely. Financial stress can erode romance quickly. Figure out what emotions like beneath the money issues between you and your spouse. Seek to understand what you each truly value, and why. Discuss how your parents viewed money and what they taught you about it growing up. Talk about your goals for saving, spending, giving, and investing. If you don’t already have a household budget, set one up. Split any leftover money between you, giving you each the right to spend it however you like. Take turns balancing your checkbook, and keep each other fully informed about the state of your finances. When dealing with disagreements over money, be humble and willing to genuinely listen to each other’s perspective. If you’re in debt, make a specific plan right away for how to pay it off. Choose a future project you’re both excited about saving for – such as a vacation, or a new kitchen – and let your shared excitement motivate you to manage all your money wisely as you save for it.