Holy Sex: Places the Other Person’s Needs and Dignity First
Eroticism: Concerned with Meeting My Needs First

Eroticism is very “me first.” It makes a good show about caring for the other, but the lie is quickly revealed by the pouting or withdrawing that results when a lover doesn’t immediately get what he or she wants either in or out of the bedroom. Lovers who practice Holy Sex trust that each is committed to meeting the other’s needs, so they feel free to serve the other first without score-keeping or counting the cost.

Holy Sex: More Joyful and Vital with Time
Eroticism: More Stagnant with Time

This important difference  is really the result of all the other differences. The problem with eroticism isn’t that it values sexual pleasure. Pleasure is good. The problem is that eroticism values pleasure above true love and, like a drug addiction, requires higher and higher doses to allow the addict to achieve the same high. There are two possible results to this situation. Either the couple eventually hits a line that one or the other will not cross and the passion dies or the couple keeps pushing the limits of sexual experience until the boundaries that protect the dignity and integrity of the relationship completely collapse.

Holy Sex, however, remains fresh and exciting because it keeps love the point of lovemaking. Lovers who practice Holy Sex know that that their sexual relationship is like a bountiful fruit tree that grows as their relationship grows, and becomes more fruitful with time and careful attention.

Holy Sex: Gives Life and Health
Eroticism: Brings Disease and Death

The Bible tells us that we can know a thing by its fruits (Matt 7:16).  The well-documented fruits of Eroticism are STD’s, abortion, depression, and estrangement.  The Bible also tells us that “the wages of sin is death.” (Romans 6: 23). Many mistakenly think sin and pleasure are synonymous but this a lie. There is nothing pleasurable about the destruction that results from eroticism. In contrast, the fruits of Holy Sex are joy, health and lifelong intimacy.  Because Holy Sex is always faithful and respectful of the natural order, it brings life instead of destruction.

Many couples believe that a joyful, vital, soulful sexual relationship should just happen naturally, but they are mistaken.  Eroticism may be as easy as falling off a log, but let’s be honest - who wants to fall off a log?  The truth is, Holy Sex takes work and commitment.  But with the work comes a relationship that can make the angels smile and the neighbors jealous.