The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice. ~ Proverbs 12: 15

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. ~ Galatians 5: 13

Susan sat across from me, dabbing at the tears in her eyes as she struggled to maintain her composure.

“I told myself I wouldn’t do this,” she muttered angrily. She tried to speak, but lost control and began sobbing.

I hadn’t seen Susan and her husband Sam before, but Susan told me about their plight when she called to set up this appointment.

“My husband wants out,” Susan told me over the phone. “He has agreed to come to one counseling session. Is there anything you can do for us?”

I told her I couldn’t offer any promises, but indicated we could try to do “damage control,” so if there was a chance of saving their troubled marriage, she could learn how to limit harm to their marriage, as well as enhancing the possibility of saving their relationship.

Sam sat stoically, looking at Susan. He seemed untouched by her overwhelming emotion and was even critical of her tears.

“This was part of the reason I didn’t want to come today,” he said. “I knew she was going to be really upset, and I’m just done. There is a lot you don’t know about,” he said, motioning to me. “This isn’t all about me being the bad guy.”

“I am sure there are many things for us to talk about,” I said. “I don’t think there is any ‘bad’ person, and I hope you’ll both be willing to talk about it.”

“No promises,” Sam said coolly.

Susan had composed herself now, and added, “I’d like to talk about how we got here, and if there is any chance of slowing things down. I don’t want you to move out.”

“Again, no promises,” Sam replied. “I don’t want to hurt Susan, but I can’t handle the fighting and criticism. I don’t like how I act when I’m with her. And things are never going to change.”

“Why do you say things can’t change?” I asked Sam.

“Ask Susan,” he said coldly. “We’ve tried to change, and we just keep slipping back into old habits. I don’t want it anymore. I want out.”

Susan appeared frozen, as if a bomb had been dropped on her chest. The world she had spent years creating was falling apart.

“What about the girls?” she said anxiously, referring to their two young daughters. “What about our faith? What about the house? Doesn’t any of that matter anymore,” Susan pleaded.

“Don’t try to guilt me into staying,” Sam said angrily. “The girls will cope.”