Editor's Note: Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family?  Dr. David Hawkins, director of the Marriage Recovery Center, will address questions from Crosswalk readers in his weekly column. Submit your question t TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com.

“I just want him to do what he says he’s going to do,” Ginger said to me forcefully, turning away from her husband.

Her husband, Kevin, stared at her with that deer-in-the-headlights look, fearing he would say the wrong thing.

“Why don’t you say something?” Ginger said, becoming more irritated, “I’ve asked you to be more involved with the children, and you give some lame excuse. I’ve asked you to be part of paying the bills, and you never seem to have the time. I ask you to spend quality time with me, and you’re not sure what to do. I’m just so frustrated.”

Kevin fidgeted, glancing down at the notes he’d been taking during our counseling session.

“I’m trying,” he said feebly. “But, I don’t think I can please you.”

Ginger turned again to me, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation.

“Am I asking too much? Am I not making myself clear? I start to doubt myself. I think we’ve made an agreement, and he says he understands, and then nothing changes. Nothing!”

I have been working with Ginger and Kevin for several weeks. I’ve written before about the over-functioning wife and under-functioning husband, and am noting an increase in marriage problems associated with this dynamic.

What is happening here? Why are so many women frustrated with their husbands? Are their expectations too high? Are men really engaged and trying to be the best husbands they can be? Certainly there is no singular answer to this issue, but many find themselves in Kevin and Ginger’s shoes, both equally frustrated and resentful.

Dr. John Gottman, famed University of Washington researcher, says couples like Kevin and Ginger are in trouble. When a relationship reaches the point where there is growing resentment, generalized feelings of contempt, and increasing distance, greater problems are likely to occur.

Can all the blame be put on Kevin’s shoulders? Of course not. Ginger recognizes her growing resentment, feeling guilt and shame over her attitude. She wants to love Kevin, but is tired of carrying the load of their relationship.

Kevin, likewise, feels exasperated. He feels Ginger’s increased disrespect. He feels the bite of her criticisms every day. He aches to be admired, respected and encouraged. Their bed is cold and the intimacy between them all but gone. The grass on the other side of the fence looks tempting to both.