Release Date:  June 23, 2006
Rating:  PG-13 (for language, crude and sex-related humor, and some drug references)
Genre:  Comedy
Run Time:  97 min.
Director:  Frank Coraci
Actors:  Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken, David Hasselhoff, Henry Winkler, Julie Kavner, Sean Astin

Here’s the bottom line on the new Adam Sandler movie, "Click":  It’s a comedy about a universal remote control purchased at Bed, Bath & Beyond.

Isn’t that hilarious?

That tells you all you need to know about this abysmal excuse for a film, but if you need more information, read on.

The movie delivers next to nothing beyond its uninteresting premise. Sandler stars as Mike Newman, loving husband with a gorgeous wife (Kate Beckinsale), two adorable young kids, a not-so-adorable pet dog and a stuffed duck. (We’ll see a lot of the stuffed duck before "Click" is over, friends. Much more than we want to see.)

Newman’s troubles are of a familiar sort. Hounded by a hard-driving boss (David Hasselhoff), Mike is losing touch with his family. Mike misses all but the final few strokes of his son’s swimming competition, arriving poolside just in time to congratulate the young Asian boy he’s mistaken for his offspring. Promised camping trips take a back seat to a major business deal.

Mike is so rarely at home he hasn’t figured out which remote device controls which household appliance. His search for a universal remote control leads him to the “Way Beyond” section of his local Bed, Bath & Beyond, where a deranged-looking sales clerk, Morty (Christopher Walken), hands Mike a remote control capable of much more than operating his TV. The unit allows Mike to “pause” confrontations with his wife and boss, to “fast forward” through visits with the in-laws, and to “rewind” to happier times with his spouse. This convenience becomes a tremendous burden once the remote control “learns” Mike’s preferences and starts to make decisions on his behalf.

The premise of "Click" is extremely limited: Watch Mike use the remote to turn himself green and imitate the Incredible Hulk! Watch Mike turn himself purple and talk like Barney the dinosaur! Watch Mike switch between the “Normal,” “Wide,” and “Panorama” aspect ratios! Listen as Mike is dubbed in Spanish!

If you can muster a chuckle at such prospects – and if you can, you’re a more forgiving soul than I am – you might enjoy two-thirds of "Click," but the last third leaves behind any trace of the film’s comic intentions, turning into a pathetic, maudlin “family values” film with a “twist” ending so mundane it’s not even worth getting angry over.

Were the film honest in its convictions about family life and paternal love, rather than a weak excuse for crude jokes and sitcom-style gags, it might deserve the benefit of any doubt. Instead, this cold-hearted, unfunny film deserves something else: the cold shoulder.

AUDIENCE:  Teens and up

CAUTIONS:

• Language/Profanity:  Lord’s name taken in vain; several instances of profanity, usually designed to generate laughs; repeated references to the size of the male sex organ; crude gestures.
• Drugs/Alcohol:  A joke about acid; a child asks if her father smokes crack; a man revisits his first drunken conquest; cigar smoking; reference to a “bong pipe.”
• Sex/Nudity:  The husband/wife sexual relationship is depicted in silhouette; several crude references to the family dog’s instincts; a male character believes another man is coming on to him; a man “rewinds” in time to see his parents in the process of conceiving him, then gets a “wombs-eye” view of his own birth; a man ogles another woman as she jogs; a man reviews his early sexual experiences.
• Violence:  Mike taunts a young neighbor who torments Mike’s son; a joke is made at the expense of a man who committed suicide; a man gets kicked in the groin; a medical professional tries to administer an injection but ends up injecting himself.
• Religion:  A character exhibits supernatural powers and claims to be an angel.