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Military Spouses: Find Hope on the Home Front

Whitney Hopler

Contributing Writer

Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Marshele Carter Waddell's new book, Hope for the Home Front: Winning the Emotional and Spiritual Battles of a Military Wife, (New Hope Publishers, 2007). 

As your spouse serves our country in the military, you serve as well, providing support on the home front and making many sacrifices to do so. The burdens you must deal with – such as loneliness, fear, temptation, frequent moves, and single parenting during deployments – can easily become overwhelming.

But with God’s help, you can find the hope you need to overcome any challenge on the home front. Here’s how:

Fight fear with faith. Know that, despite how dangerous your spouse’s missions may be, God is in control of what happens. Choose to trust in God’s great wisdom and love for both you and your spouse. Rather than wasting time and energy fearing certain circumstances, decide to fear God alone, by respecting His sovereignty. Whenever you encounter a crisis, see it as an opportunity to learn to trust God more. Remember God’s promise to always be with you, and His assurance that you don’t need to be anxious about anything. Whenever you catch yourself starting to worry, pray about the matter instead. Every day, release your spouse to God’s protection and trust Him to do what’s best in your spouse’s life. Pray for God to give you the peace you need.

Recognize the power of words. Understand that words have tremendous power to either bless or harm other people. Bless your spouse with encouraging words often. When talking with your spouse about your frustrations, choose your words carefully so you don’t cause harm to your marriage. Realize that, just like military jargon, your spouse’s thoughts and feelings often require patience to come to understand. Make time to genuinely listen to your spouse before you reply to what he or she says. When comforting a friend who is also married to a spouse in the military, make time to listen to your friend’s heart instead of just jumping in with pat answers.

View interruptions and inconveniences as opportunities. Whenever you face interruptions and inconveniences (such as unexpected deployments, rescheduled duty, extended work hours, cancelled liberty, or poorly timed telephone calls), don’t let disappointment, hurt, or resentment get the best of you. Instead, pray for God to help you be flexible and gracious about accepting them. Don’t react right away; let time and space act as cushions between your thoughts and words, helping you to calm down before responding. Remember that each interruption and interpretation is an opportunity for you to grow in your faith by deciding to trust God more. Recall the many ways God has proven Himself faithful in your life in the past, and look forward to how He’ll help you get through your current and future challenges. Understand that God has your family’s best interests in mind, and rely on Him for strength as you change your plans in response to unexpected circumstances. Recognize that what at first seems like a burden can be a blessing in disguise, such as when it leads you to develop new skills and embrace fresh confidence.

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Most Recent User Comments
energyman38
3/11/2007 8:45 AM
I've been deployed in Iraq for one year now and we were recently told we are to be extended for another 125 days. My wife Michelle has been a blessing to me and it all boils down to one thing...our faith and trust in God. I belong to the Battalion Missionary team and have counceled with many individuals who have and are going through divorces and hardships and the majority of them, if not all, lack one thing and that is having God as a center.

After reading the article I wish I had it from the start so husbands could have sent it to their wives in the beginning. I believe it could have changed some marriages that have already fallen apart but its never too late. There are many other spouses going through the same thing that could use this information not only to help with there relationships with their spouses but more importantly with GOD.

Thank You and God Bless,
David Johnson a soldier, husband and father serving in Iraq
soldier3001
3/9/2007 12:08 AM
My wife and I are both in the Air Force. She is deployed now and I am at home since my career field doesn't really deploy at all. It is annoying because I feel like I should be out there with an M14 protecting my wife, but I'm not. I'm here safe and sound in the U.S. This article helped a lot. I do need to focus on Christ and pray for God's protection from temptation. Thanks for your concern for those of us at home battling the enemy in the absence of our wingman.

~Dan
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