I wish I had trusted God more.

For every fearful peek into the future, I wish I had looked to Christ instead. For each imaginary trouble conjured up, I wish I had recalled the specific, unfailing faithfulness of God. In place of dismay and dread, I wish I had exhibited hope and joy. I wish I had approached mothering like the preacher Charles Spurgeon approached his job: "forecasting victory, not foreboding defeat."3

What mothering failures have you predicted lately? What fears about your daughter lurk around the edges of your mind? Do you assume that your relationship with your daughter will only get worse? Are you anxious about your responsibility to teach her the language of biblical womanhood?

As women, aren’t we all vulnerable to fear, worry, and anxiety? And few areas tempt us more than mothering. But faith must dictate our mothering, not fear. Faith, as it says in Hebrews, is the "assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" (Heb. 11:1).

Faith toward God is the foundation of effective mothering. Did you catch that? Here it is again: Faith toward God is the foundation of effective mothering. Success as a mother doesn’t begin with hard work or sound principles or consistent discipline (as necessary as these are). It begins with God: His character, His faithfulness, His promises, His sovereignty. And as our understanding of these truths increases, so will our faith for mothering. You see, it is relatively easy to implement new practices in parenting. But if our practices (no matter how useful) aren’t motivated by faith, they will be fruitless.

The Bible says that without faith it is impossible to please God (Heb. 11:6). Fear is sin. And as my husband has often graciously reminded me—God is not sympathetic to my unbelief. Why? Because fear, worry, and unbelief say to God that we don’t really believe He is "merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness" (Ps. 86:15). We are calling God a liar.

But What if Family Life Really Does Get Ugly?

Even in the most trying situations with our daughters, we have much more incentive to trust than to fear, much more cause for peace and joy than despair. That’s because, as Christians, we have the hope of the gospel.

The gospel begins with some bad news. It confirms the fact that we are all sinful, rebellious creatures. Rebellion is not unique to modern teenagers. In Psalm 51, King David laments, "Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me" (v. 5).

But the gospel doesn’t leave us with bad news. The message of the gospel is that Jesus Christ has come to save rebellious sinners: mothers and daughters. He lived a perfect, rebellion-free life, fully submitted to His Father, and died a cruel death as our substitute. Then He rose from the dead and is seated now at the right hand of God, the Father.

The truth of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection is our hope as mothers. The power of the gospel means that teenage rebellion is not inevitable. Tedd Tripp concurs: