My friends who are Pastor's sons suffer from being hobbled by codependency where they lose there complete identity in pleasing others and searching for identity and significance in relationships that are unhealthy. Amazingly, this can lead to fundamental character problems while being a Christian like lying, embellishing the truth, overeating, isolation and other maladies. Sometimes, when hope is lost they cope by addictions to drugs, sex, pornography etc. Codependency is one of those issues that masquerades as good in relationships but ends with the person devaluing themselves and becoming worthless in their own eyes. Others when they see the failure in the relationship, see them in the same way. Often in order to make others feel good they will enable their sin. It's ugly. But these is hope in the gospel. I have found help with my own codependency with Celebrate Recovery. Hopefully these precious Pastor's sons can find the same...rofaith

What a great article. I read this today after just reading the "Holy Side of Anger". Kind of a one, two punch for me. As a P.K., I was always expected to be a cut above the other kids, have a smile on my face and stay out of trouble. I grew up in small midwestern towns and learned to be on my own most of the time. My dad didn't have time for me and there were many things that I was not taught growing up. Many P.K.s are prime targets for sexual predators since we are STARVED for attention and want to be accepted and have friends. When I went to a "christian" college I found that many of the male P.K.'s were homosexual and had many other problems in their lives.

The church really should pay attention to the sons of pastors. They are literally crying out for help.

Wow! Being a pastor's son for 21 years, now at age 30, this article really hits home for me. This author has great insite into the realm of the PK (preacher's kid). I especailly agree with the parts of having to alway be happy and seeming to have to fight the paritioners for my parents' affection. Church always seemed to come 1st. I did enjoy your comments about how the pastor's son should be treated like any other kid in the church, allowed to make mistakes, and not be treated like an ambassador of his father. That was a stigma that still haunts me to this day, that in someway, I will mess up and my failure will bring a disgrace to him. It is tuff living in a pastor's home. Its like a living in a glass house as the world stands around it looking in through magnifying glasses. As a minister myself, I hope to learn from my experiences and not pass these things along to my daughter.