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7 Tips to Finding Humility... and Keeping It

Joe McKeever

I know precious little about humility. However I know one big thing: God wants it in His people.

Scripture is filled with teachings, examples, violations, commands, and encouragements regarding humility. Nothing cinches it for believers like knowing that even Jesus Christ was humble and became our example. Try these passages for starters: Matthew 11:29John 13:14-15Philippians 2:5-8.

Scripture tells believers to put on humility (Colossians 3:12), be clothed with humility (1 Peter 5:5), and to walk with humility (Ephesians 4:1-2).

The Lord wants His children to be humble so badly that He has given us seven aids to accomplish this and to keep us that way.

1. Common sense

Look around at the billions of people. You're just one of them. Look above at the jillions of stars. You're sitting on one small planet circling one humble star. They've been around for eons, while you have only a few more years of life here. If that doesn't humble you, you're not paying attention.

2. The Holy Spirit

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, humility.... (Galatians 5:22-23).

3. Our family

I heard the wife of a well-known preacher say on television once--and probably shocking some in her audience--"I tell my husband, 'Don't start that big shot thing with me. I saw you in your shorts this morning.'"

The old adage says, "No man is a hero to his valet." Likewise, to the Obama children, Barack is simply "Daddy." To Billy Graham's offsprings, he is "Daddy." None tiptoe into his presence and genuflex.

4. Our friends

Those who are your closest friends are not in awe of you. They will tell you your breath smells bad, you need to use a hankie, or that you have a stain on your clothing that you had not noticed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy (Proverbs 27:6).

5. Affliction, hardship

You shall remember that the Lord your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. So He humbled you.... (Deuteronomy 8:2-3)

6. Failure

Scripture cites so many instances of this, it's hard to know where to start. God let Israel fail to conquer the tiny city of Ai to humble them because of sin in their camp. He let Samson fail because of his headstrong ways. Same with Nebuchadnezzar. Time and again, God allowed foreign nations to conquer Israel and dominate them until they humbled themselves and cried out to Him.

A friend in the ministry told me that after his wife left him, thus ending his pastoral ministry that had made him a household name in his part of the world, God truly humbled him. I said, "My guess is you are doing far better work for the Lord now than before." He said, "I was working for myself before. Now I work for Jesus."

7. Criticism

Nothing drove Moses to stay close to the Almighty like the constant carping of the Israelite people. Many pastors have had to stand in the pulpit and deliver God's message to people who were looking for flaws and eager to pounce on any mistake he made. It's an awful way to live, but God can use this in his life to build character and deepen his commitment to Christ.

As I write this, something just happened. A few days ago, an online pastors' service picked up an article from my website and forwarded it (with my approval of course) to over 100,000 on their mailing list. Ever since, my mailbox has been clogged with comments and responses, almost entirely favorable. However, this morning a negative note came. A layman let me know he was the type of church member I was addressing and that I was entirely wrong. I answered him and should have moved forward. But since, I've gone back and reread his note and even printed it out. His criticism will linger with me far longer than the endorsements.

Okay, so we have all these influences converging on little old us to keep us mindful that we are puny, dependent, limited, weak, ignorant, and sinners.

A gospel song expresses it like this--

I thought number one would surely be me;
I thought I could be what I wanted to be.
I thought of myself as a mighty big man.
But I can't even walk without You holding my hand.

Question: Why do we have to keep learning these lessons? Why does pride become such a dominant, malignant factor in our lives?

Answer: Because we live under a constant barrage of forces that neutralize humility.

Here are seven of these forces that work against humility:

1. Our ego

We are born self-centered and, unless something intervenes (like a spanking or discipline or instruction), we grow up full of ourselves, thinking the world revolves around us. That may be the essence of original sin, that we are all about us.

My friend Jerry Clower used to say, "People say I have an ego. Listen, friend--if you don't have an ego, go get you one. Because you're going to be needing one in this life!" He meant the kind of self-awareness and confidence that accompany success in life. That's the good ego; the bad ego is pride, self-centeredness.

2. Our successes

No one wants to fail; everyone wants to succeed in life. And yet we learn far more from our failures than from successes and accomplishments. Let a young writer publish an early book and receive great acclaim and he/she automatically thinks of themselves as a great author. However, if the aspiring writer receives a series of rejection slips that drive him to work at his craft and perfect his manuscript, he can become far more than otherwise.

In the ministry, few people are as full of themselves as young pastors who have achieved acclaim early. After watching them preen and listening to them prate, one finds himself hoping they will be humbled in order to be of genuine service in the Lord's work. My opinion is that no one in the ministry ever amounts to anything without being broken at some point.

3. Our underlings

Our groupies, our fans, our employees, our admirers--call them what you please. Sycophants. Many of these attempt to curry favor in order to use us for their purposes.

4. Our forgetfulness

God sent us failure and humbled us, but we quickly forgot the lesson and soon were back to speed with our ego running the show.

The Apostle Peter wrote of various Christlike virtues, then added, He who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins (II Peter 1:9).

5. Our enemy, Satan himself

Jesus told Peter that the devil wanted to sift you like wheat. For one called "The Rock" (Matthew 16:18), we get a picture of Peter being turned into sand. Satan is forever trying that approach with us today, in two primary ways: by running us down, destroying our confidence and faith, and by puffing us up, making us believe in our self-sufficiency.

6. Our blindness

Even without successes to puff us up, we still find ourselves carrying inflated ideas of who we are. Where does this come from? We are clearly turning blind eyes toward reality. The Old Testament prophets and our Lord Jesus spoke of those who have eyes but will not see (Matthew 13:13ff).

I've noticed a little quirk of mine which I'm willing to bet is a widespread human frailty: when we look into the mirror, we do not see "truth" but we see what we want to see. When I was carrying 30 pounds more than I do now, I did not see that in mirrors. When someone handed me a photo they had just taken, there it was and there was no denying it. But the mirror was my buddy. As with the wicked queen, the "mirror mirror on the wall" showed her what she wanted to see, told her what she wanted to hear.

7. Flattery

"You are so wonderful." "You are the best pastor we've ever had." "I read everything you write." "How did you learn to draw so well?" "You are so handsome."

Groan.

My friend Frank Pollard, wonderful pastor now in Heaven, had a good line that fits here. After receiving a glowing introduction before he preached, Frank approached the pulpit and said, "I'm going to ask the Lord to forgive my brother for that introduction. And to forgive me for enjoying it so much."

The ugliest trait in all the world--bar none, no debate about it--is conceit. An actor can take home more Oscars than anyone in movie history and adorn the covers of all the fan mags and we are fine with that. However, let him or her begin to act like they are (ahem) hot stuff and we're outa there. Few things adorn accomplishment like humility.

Okay, third and maybe the most basic question of all: Why? Why does the Lord want us humble? Why is this an important topic? What is the point?

For that, we turn to Scripture. Here are some reasons God's Word identifies for our being humble.

1. That He may exalt us in due time

"Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time" (I Peter 5:6).

2. So that we may learn. Only the humble are teachable

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart" (Matthew 11:29).

3. That God can use us in His service. He cannot use the prideful

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart--These, O God, you will not despise" (Psalm 51:17).

4. To receive more grace

"He gives more grace. Therefore He says, 'God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6).

5. To enter His presence

"Thus says the High and Lofty One who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: 'I dwell in the high and holy place, with him who has a contrite and humble spirit...." (Isaiah 57:15).

"The Lord is near those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit" (Psalm 34:18).

6. To be saved and enter the Kingdom

"Unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:3-4).

7. That our prayers may be heard

"He does not forget the cry of the humble" (Psalm 9:12).

Does this exhaust the subject? What a question! Never. This one is as deep as the ocean, as unlikely to be nailed down and summed up as the mysteries of the future. The human heart is a mess. The human animal is a rebel. As puny and flawed as we are, the fact that we accomplish a few things and then decide we can live without God is all the proof anyone should ever need of our precarious condition in this universe.

The war to remain humble must be fought on many fronts every day of our lives. Even then, pride will slip up on us and enter from our blind side. Before we know it, we will start sounding as though we deserve more from God and others than we are getting, like we have been mistreated in life, as though the universe was built for our comfort and our being deprived of anything ranks as a great injustice.

Every day of our lives, the wise among us will join with the publican who stood afar off and unwilling to even lift up his head, prayed, O God, be merciful to me the sinner (Luke 18:13).

Dr. Joe McKeever is a Preacher, Cartoonist, and the Director of Missions for the Baptist Association of Greater New Orleans. Visit him at joemckeever.com/mt. Used with permission.

Publication date: July 1, 2011