I recently returned from a week-long Caribbean cruise with my husband. While onboard, a friend asked how long it had been since our last week-long vacation. I mulled over the question for a while and finally answered, “My honeymoon?”
Despite encouraging couples to make time for date nights, weekend getaways, and couple vacations, my husband and I had not followed my advice on that last one. So our cruise ended up feeling like a second honeymoon. Especially since we toured the ship on the first day and ended up in the wedding chapel, where my husband took my hands and prayed for us as we stood where a couple repeating their vows would stand.
That prayer set the right tone for our trip, and we thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Now here are four reasons you need to go on a second honeymoon too.
It decreases your stress.
Our marriages are stressed, with work, household, and family making constant demands on us. Some days those pressures leave little time and energy for our beloved mate.
With everything you’ve got going on in your life, you may have become neglectful, snippy, or flat-out frustrated with one another. What if you could remove that stress for a while? What would a bit of relaxation do to put you in a better mood to be with one another? How could that reset your perspective of your marriage?
The beauty of our cruise was not only did we get away from work and home—we had no access to cell phone service or internet, meaning no intrusions from the outside. That family member or co-worker who would normally bug us on our day off couldn’t reach us.
Go ahead and get away! You might be surprised what the lack of stress will do for you reconnecting.
It deepens your friendship.
Speaking of reconnecting, a second honeymoon is a great opportunity to grow your friendship. You have extended time to engage in mutually enjoyable activities, strike up conversations that are not about the kids or the household, and take on new experiences together.
You build memories of fun times and perhaps a few fails—you know, those stories you tell later that start with, “Remember when that cab driver started telling us all about his gallbladder surgery…” and end in fits of shared laughter.
While on the cruise, my husband and I watched the World Series poolside, went to open karaoke (where I sang, he applauded), toured a farm where they make chocolate, danced at a nightclub, shopped together, and much more.
Could we do these things at home? Some of them, yes. But when you set aside vacation time, you’re more intentional about finding things to do and interacting as friends.
It increases your sexual intimacy.
When you get away for that second honeymoon, guess what you get to do? Act like newlyweds!
Or, to tell the truth, you’re likely better lovers now than you were back when. Many couples report increased sexual satisfaction a decade or more into their marriage. In the time since you said I do, you’ve learned a lot about your body, his body, and how your bodies fit together. And if you haven’t, a second honeymoon is a great time for discovery or rediscovery.
My husband and I had more time to be affectionate, to flirt, and to sleep in the next morning or take an afternoon nap. I realized we wouldn’t keep up that level when we returned home, but it renewed our desire to prioritize the special bond of physical intimacy in marriage.
A second honeymoon might be the boost you two need for your sexual intimacy. Don’t make it about unrealistic expectations; rather, relax and revel in the opportunity to be more physically intimate.
It reminds you why you got married.
Remember that guy or gal you fell in love with? The one who made your tummy flutter, your heartbeat pound, and your eyes light up? You’re still married to that person.
In the usual busyness of life, we can forget what attracted us to one another. We get used to each other and perhaps take our relationship for granted. But taking a second honeymoon can remind you exactly why you committed your love and life to your spouse.
One of the best outcomes of my cruise was the ongoing reminder that I really like this man. He isn’t just a good provider, a good husband, a good father, or a good lover—he’s a fun person. I still enjoy our conversations, laugh at his jokes, and share many of the same interests. I’d choose him again.
You might need a reminder of your own good taste—that you married someone pretty awesome. And so did your spouse.
Of course, there are additional benefits of travel, including the activities you do, the lodging and views you enjoy, and/or the meals you savor. But as a couple, it’s important to find time to be just us two. It can benefit your relationship in these four ways and others. Maybe it’s time you took a second honeymoon.
“Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages” (Song of Songs 7:11).
J. Parker is the author of Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God’s Design and blogs at Hot, Holy & Humorous, using a biblical perspective and a blunt sense of humor to foster godly sexuality. She has been married for 23 years and holds a master's degree in counseling, yet it's her personal story of redemption that fuels her passion for passion.
Photo courtesy: Thinkstockphotos.com
Publication date: November 7, 2016