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crookly
7/24/2008 12:59 PM
Thank you for that in sight and right now I am going through alot and my marriage is in line of fire and crash and i need some in sight and from brother and sisters in Christ my email is crookly@aol.com thank you God Bless you All;
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Wyoming
11/1/2007 3:14 PM
There's a lot of truth in this article, but it's yet another essay written with twenty-something (maybe as ancient as thirty-something) singles in mind. Try hitting 40, 50, etc. and following the author's advice to seek a spouse. It doesn't work. There simply aren't enough Christian men out there. Statistics are statistics.
You twenty-somethings don't think it will happen to you? Hit 35, maybe 40, as a single woman and it probably will. When Christian men finally grow up and decide to marry, it isn't the women of their generation, the women who waited for decades, they ask to marry. It's women ten or more years younger -- and those women jump at the chance because men in their own age group aren't "ready" for marriage.
Where does that leave older single women? Up a creek for a lifetime, I'm afraid. And tired of the assumption in articles such as this that all singles are in their twenties and thirties and could do something about their "predicament" if only they tried.
You twenty-somethings don't think it will happen to you? Hit 35, maybe 40, as a single woman and it probably will. When Christian men finally grow up and decide to marry, it isn't the women of their generation, the women who waited for decades, they ask to marry. It's women ten or more years younger -- and those women jump at the chance because men in their own age group aren't "ready" for marriage.
Where does that leave older single women? Up a creek for a lifetime, I'm afraid. And tired of the assumption in articles such as this that all singles are in their twenties and thirties and could do something about their "predicament" if only they tried.
single_certain
8/21/2007 12:59 PM
yes, yes, yes, i know singleness is not a gift. but you can't just say, ok, go seek a spouse! i am! i have been! it's NOT happening!
and there is nothing more unattractive than a guy or girl in desperate seek mode!
yes, it's hard and i'm sad and i really want to be married. i'm 28 and still a virgin and i've been single for most of my life. god put this burning desire in me and i have faith that i'll be married someday. but it's very apparent that it's not now!
so stop telling me to seek. stop telling me that i need to do something about this. i'm seeking god, not a husband. i'm seeking to use my talents to glorify him adn help others. and i'm seeking some good friends to bond with and commiserate a little as we struggle through a lonely, awkward place in our lives.
single_certain
www.singlecertain.blogspot.com
and there is nothing more unattractive than a guy or girl in desperate seek mode!
yes, it's hard and i'm sad and i really want to be married. i'm 28 and still a virgin and i've been single for most of my life. god put this burning desire in me and i have faith that i'll be married someday. but it's very apparent that it's not now!
so stop telling me to seek. stop telling me that i need to do something about this. i'm seeking god, not a husband. i'm seeking to use my talents to glorify him adn help others. and i'm seeking some good friends to bond with and commiserate a little as we struggle through a lonely, awkward place in our lives.
single_certain
www.singlecertain.blogspot.com
MidnightPsalm79
7/31/2007 7:41 PM
I think the author made good points about sex being a gift from God for two married people and at the same time, I don't think someone is going to die a horrible death if they never had sex. We need food, clothing, shelter, and community but it takes time to develop trust for a companion if sex is such a need for people.
Curiepoint
7/30/2007 6:59 PM
Well, I surmise that I am immune to the whole notion of Biblical Manhood and the mandate to marry, as espoused by Debbie Maken in her book and Captain Sensible on her blog.
I married young, had two children whom I have faithfully raised into young adults, and then found myself divorced from a woman who only cared about two things:
1). The week's paycheck
2). The paycheck forthcoming.
2/3 of which she still receives as alimony.
To my mind, I have fulfilled my biological and moral imperatives; I married and sired another generation. Now closer to fifty than I am to forty, and having lived alone for slightly more than a decade, I found that the gift of being able to cope with singleness was elusive. I have since grown accustomed to, and as a result of the materialistic nature of this world, appreciative that I am not desireous of companionship any longer. As a sinner in the eyes of God, can I at least take comfort that I do not sin where marriage is concerned?
I married young, had two children whom I have faithfully raised into young adults, and then found myself divorced from a woman who only cared about two things:
1). The week's paycheck
2). The paycheck forthcoming.
2/3 of which she still receives as alimony.
To my mind, I have fulfilled my biological and moral imperatives; I married and sired another generation. Now closer to fifty than I am to forty, and having lived alone for slightly more than a decade, I found that the gift of being able to cope with singleness was elusive. I have since grown accustomed to, and as a result of the materialistic nature of this world, appreciative that I am not desireous of companionship any longer. As a sinner in the eyes of God, can I at least take comfort that I do not sin where marriage is concerned?
fairlady
6/26/2007 12:18 AM
I agree with almost everything the author said.
At no time in history except in corrupt Rome, have we had such "single" issues.
Until about 50 years ago, it was assumed in the USA and in European culture that marraige was normal and singleness was the exception.
I think it's time for singles to step up to the plate and be intentional about dating relationships and marraige. We've followed the pattern of the current public education system. They tell us to stay in school until age 25 for Masters etc. and then stay celibate all the way through? Hardly! Can you really?
The point of the article is to point out that are not to let ungodly mindsets rule Christian dating e.g. "you have a career to start; sow your wild oats first; they're just boys; you can't handle marriage financially at this point" all of which are contradictory to "be fruitful and multiply", "he who finds a wife finds a good thing", and "marry, not burn." Few are called to be single, and if you aren't called, marry.
At no time in history except in corrupt Rome, have we had such "single" issues.
Until about 50 years ago, it was assumed in the USA and in European culture that marraige was normal and singleness was the exception.
I think it's time for singles to step up to the plate and be intentional about dating relationships and marraige. We've followed the pattern of the current public education system. They tell us to stay in school until age 25 for Masters etc. and then stay celibate all the way through? Hardly! Can you really?
The point of the article is to point out that are not to let ungodly mindsets rule Christian dating e.g. "you have a career to start; sow your wild oats first; they're just boys; you can't handle marriage financially at this point" all of which are contradictory to "be fruitful and multiply", "he who finds a wife finds a good thing", and "marry, not burn." Few are called to be single, and if you aren't called, marry.
lighttruth
6/21/2007 7:17 PM
I personally agree with a lot of the points made by the author on the basis of when a believer knows that they want to be married but they are looking for or waiting for perfection in the other person (as if they themselves are perfect)and also want to achieve what the world and materially obsessed believers think will make a great marriage. That is deception and self delusion. If the truth be known many Christians who are in their 30s, 40s and are still single are desperately seeking marriage now because of wrong messages preached from the pulpit from people who are already married for a period of time. In fact I believe very strongly that the more one gives of themselves to the Lord's work you will find the right person because it comes as an increase in one's relationship to the Lord. Also pride can be an issue because often times the Lord may bring persons who don't necessarily fit our profile of "my" kind of person because we judge people on the outward not from the Lord's heart.
up2zero
6/21/2007 2:22 PM
Hold on now! Let's not be so tough on the writer. This person made some good points.
I'm 32 now and have been married 5 years. Many women and men appear to postpone commitment and marriage simply because they want to get school and career nailed down. Now that I'm older I don't really believe that solution is always the best one. The writer's point seems to be physical desire is very strong. If the only reason you delay marriage is b/c of money and college you should reconsider.
However, marriage is nothing like what you imagine when you are single. I wish more single men and women could put aside their feelings of desperation and throw themselves into the Lord's Kingdom work. A single person can devote a lot more time to it.
SINGLE PEOPLE, REMEMBER THIS! Being single isn't the worst thing in the world, but marrying the wrong person almost is.
I'm 32 now and have been married 5 years. Many women and men appear to postpone commitment and marriage simply because they want to get school and career nailed down. Now that I'm older I don't really believe that solution is always the best one. The writer's point seems to be physical desire is very strong. If the only reason you delay marriage is b/c of money and college you should reconsider.
However, marriage is nothing like what you imagine when you are single. I wish more single men and women could put aside their feelings of desperation and throw themselves into the Lord's Kingdom work. A single person can devote a lot more time to it.
SINGLE PEOPLE, REMEMBER THIS! Being single isn't the worst thing in the world, but marrying the wrong person almost is.
Trusting_In_Him
6/21/2007 1:45 PM
I have read this article, and strongly disagree with what was printed here.
We should not go seeking marriage because we are hungry for sex. That idea is offensive.
Jesus said to "seek first His kingdom,and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." We shouldn't be out there "shopping" for a spouse. God will bring us to the right person at the right time. Some people honestly don't meet the person God means them to be with until they are 30, or 35, or 50, or whenever. Just because you aren't married at age 20 doesn't mean you are greedy or focused on personal glory or achievement. It just means you have not yet met the one you will marry.
Seek Him, and if it is in His will for you to marry, then by doing His will, you will meet that person you are meant to be with.
We work on God's timetable, not ours. Don't marry just so you can have sex within the acceptable boundaries of marriage. God gave us self-control. Let's use it.
We should not go seeking marriage because we are hungry for sex. That idea is offensive.
Jesus said to "seek first His kingdom,and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." We shouldn't be out there "shopping" for a spouse. God will bring us to the right person at the right time. Some people honestly don't meet the person God means them to be with until they are 30, or 35, or 50, or whenever. Just because you aren't married at age 20 doesn't mean you are greedy or focused on personal glory or achievement. It just means you have not yet met the one you will marry.
Seek Him, and if it is in His will for you to marry, then by doing His will, you will meet that person you are meant to be with.
We work on God's timetable, not ours. Don't marry just so you can have sex within the acceptable boundaries of marriage. God gave us self-control. Let's use it.
laticeisone
6/21/2007 12:09 PM
(this is a continuation of the last post) e you would be a little hesitate and enjoy your singles. There are things that must be done, must not be done when you are married that would not be an issue if you were single. And I'm not talking about cheating or things like that. But I'm talking about if you want to go certain places and it doesn't have to be anything bad, however as a single you can go to all the conventions, revivals, worship services, and your heart desire. However as a married women or man you can't do certain things. Especially a wife, your attention is divided between the Lord and your Husband (1 Corinthians 7: 32, But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares fo rthe things of the Lord-how he may please the LOrd. But he who is married cares about the things of the world-how he may please his wife.) NKJV. And futhermore as Lady4HIM says women are not to look for a husband God will bring him to her. So there is no need for socials!
laticeisone
6/21/2007 12:04 PM
I'm a little appauld by your article. First, it's obvious that you are not married because BELIEVE me if you were, the content and the miscontrueness of your logic would not be represented so strongly in this article. I agree with Paul as he describe singleness as a gift. It really is. Marriage is not all about sex, this is part of the blessing from God (the sex part in a marriage). Marriage is suppose to represent Christ relationship to the church. It's not all about our individual needs our oneness of what we want. We get all of this if we follow God's word and what he says about marriage. He intructs Husbands to love their wives as Christ does the church, which means sacrifically. Meaning a husband should be willing to lay down his Life for her. Meaning shutting down some things on the inside of him for her. And wives are to respect there husbands out of showing reverance to the Lord. If you truly understood the sacrifices that goes into a godly, holy marriage as God wants us to hav
Lady4HIM
6/14/2007 12:48 PM
Your article is insightful...where does courting fit in here? And as a woman of God, I must say that ladies, we are not to go out looking for our mate. HE will send him.
