Let me start by admitting that McCulley is right: arrogance and wrath and disdain are unattractive and all too present in my life. I have rushed past people in an effort to accomplish my 'to do' list and that's not godly.

But as one of the women who gets labeled as 'intimidating', I find her explanation inadequate.

I am not a radical feminist and never have been. But I am a professional young woman who deals with men and women in challenging environments all the time.

Professionally, I'm called "sweet," "competent," and even "unpresupposing." True, I take strong stands and sometimes people don't like me for that. But in church environments I've been called "intimidating." If McCulley's explanation is the only one, why the difference? Why are some men intimidated but not others? If most Christian guys are so easily intimidated and want weak women, should I really pretend to be less than I am so they can feel more macho by comparison?

Okay, let me give the necessary Christian disclaimer so I can ask questions without having to over qualify them. I understand that the author is talking about the heart and humility. I do understand that ultimately, regardless of a man's response, I am responsible to the Lord for my response and my attitude. I also understand that I am to be kind in my interactions. Now my questions:
1. In my experience many men who are intimidated by women are insecure in who they are. How much of the responsibility to mitigate the perceptions of such men is on the woman versus a man addressing his own pride issues with God? And how does a woman intelligently and successfully communicate with such men?
2. Are we talking about men in business or in the church? Are the rules different? While attitude is important regardless, it seems we "intimidating women" have to tread more lightly in the church.
3. If I were a man, would I be so misperceived in my communications?

that was very good. I saw myself in there and didn't even realize it!! Wow! Does God ever have His work cut out for Him, but He can handle it and I will yield to it....

I rencently meet a woman that had a very strong and a loving personality. I love women with strong personality, because they have a grasp on there emotional life. Where many times I am a very contrit man. I have no fear of strong woman, but my experience is if they have not surrendered to God's will. How can I even develope a loving and growing relationship. Paul was right when he said in Romans 12:10, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."
This artical has tought me to be compasionate with my strong willed sister with a heart of love.

I'm married to a wonderful, beautiful, and extraordinarily strong woman. My calling, as her husband, is to help her to grow so that her gifts can be fully used to honor God. She is a delight to me, and her strength, or *intimidation*, is wonderfully balanced by her compassion and faith.

I believe that all women have the potential to be confident, assertive, and fully faithful to God's call on their life. A man cheats himself and his family by not tenderly seeing to his wife's growth, and helping her to develop and focus her God-given abilities.

This is not easy, and it requires that both Husband and Wife "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." I am thankful for my Proverbs 31 Wife who God has given to me so we can serve him together.

This article really spoke to me. I am considered very comptetent, strong, independent by my friends. But I see how I can come across as very judgemental and arogant. I have lost 2 relationships and I know it was partly due to my behavior. the article makes me realize how desperately I need a humble and contrite heart. I want to radiate a gentleness towards others. I don't want to repel anyone. I am thankful to have come apon this article.

There seems to be a lot of negative feedback below on this article. God really spoke to me through this. I am having trouble in my marriage, at work, with friends. And I realize that lately I have failed to work on my humility and often I take the well I know I'm write (arogant) approach to relationships as of late. This is something I know I have to work on but seems like its easy for me to forget to do so. It truly does have such an impact on my relationships especially with my husband. Thank you for this well written article that relates to my struggles.

Its not an excuse. I heard countless times from women that they don't like men that have feminate personality traits about them. In society and culture, not many women want a man that acts like a women. Well, the same things applies to a man not wanting a women that acts like a man. ITS NOT ATTRACTIVE. Its nothing wrong about being confident and smart, but its another thing to be, hard, aggressive, and self centered. Most of those are men traits, and are NOT attractive in a women. It has nothing to do with not being able to "handle" a so-called "strong women", but has everything to do with the fact that we don't want to marry a "dude with a skirt". We want to be able to talk and connect with Christian women, not bond and socialize like we do with our buddies during a game. Most guys put up a wall against, hard, aggressive, women that are TOO Strong and independent for their own good. Women love to say "man-up", well, i personally say "women-up".

Proverbs 31 is one of the most over-quoted passages in the Bible when refering to women and what they should be like. I am often told I am intimidating but I don't have a "powerful personality." I am friendly and approachable. I'm intimidating because I'm almost six feet tall and I'm self-confident. I agree some girls are intimidating, but some guys just use the word as an excuse...

While the article is may be true about women with "strong personalities" what about the rest of us? I have confidence and a strong heart, but I am meek, introverted, quiet, slow to anger and understanding. When I was asked by a single man that I was attracted to and who seemed to be attracted to me, what I did for a living, I told him. I'm not rich or powerful or outrageously successful but I am middle class and able to provide for my family. His exact words were "This intimidates us". I wasn't pushy, I didn't try to "one-up" anyone or display pride, I just simply answered the question. I'm not pushy or manipulative or demanding in any way and I don't appear that way either (I've asked). Those apparently aren't the only qualities that intimidate men. I'm a single parent and if I'm unable to care for my family I have to go on welfare, and if I am able to care for them I'm too intimidating. If I were less independent and depended on a man, I wouldn't be awailable anyway.