I am so blessed with this article. I praise God for raising an author like Julie to share the truths behind women who are in critical relationships right now and even to those who are about to have. I am reminded to patiently wait for God's best through fervent prayers and faithfulness. It is really true that feelings must not be the basis on making decisions as it fluctuates. I have shared this article with fellow single friends that they too may be reminded and enlightened.

God bless you.

To say that feelings lie to us, is not quite an accurate statement. What is correct, is that our feelings should not be the determining factor we use to know if we love someone. It's the same way our salvation is not based on a feeling. If I'm sad one day, does that mean I'm no longer a Christian? If I am angry at my husband, does that mean I don't love him anymore? We need to understand feelings within their context. They are uniquely ours, and nobody else knows how I feel, but we use words to describe our feelings so others can understand our meaning. Feelings are like an alert system, our very own built-in monitoring system. They let us know when we need to be cautious, when we need to grieve, and they let us know when we are happy or mad. Can feelings be misunderstood? Of course. That's why we need to be in a close walk with the Lord. Feelings do not define our Christianity, and should not define our love for someone. Love is committment, compatability, companionship & contentment.

Awesome Article!!!!! It's sooooo true!!! God Bless you for speaking the truth. As a young college student I've been through this situation myself!

Author's note: I understand the reaction of men who feel like I'm just picking on them. But there's a counterpart to this article at http://www.crosswalk.com/singles/11561239/ where the women aren't off the hook either. However, this is not an article directed at the "nice guys," but is only to help those women who have flawed perceptions, feeling-based decision-making, and trouble recognizing red flags. Women are famous for lying to themselves in order to justify settling for the wrong thing.

I kind of agree with the one of the writers...... how about an article stating "9 lies women tell men" or better yet, "9 unmet expectations women have of men they transform into lies that men tell them"... being in the recovery ministry....the untold story is that this goes both ways... most men will not regard themselves as victims and just chalk these kinds of things up to "life".... women on the other hand.... well, lets just say, it's a different story...

As a Christian man, I can agree with much of what has been stated here given optimal circumstances. But even then, there's "reality" that comes along. We can all agree, striving for moral and ethical purity in a fallen world as the "nice guy" won't always garner points with those around you. If anything, the spotlight only intensifies. So, there's much to be said for the "nice guy", as I feel such a man is always left vulnerable for manipulation, especially from women. It just seems there's too many double standards, and pervasive levels of distrust, that you'd have to live in a bubble to find a mate anymore. So it's not surprising some Christians in their quiet lives of desperation compromise clear biblical values. Rather than pray, we panic as that biological clock ticks louder. So we usually wind up making mistakes. Churches represent family structure for many, which is why the divorced and singles rather than being alienated deserve special attention, and encouragement.

I'm sorry, but if your going to write an article with more cliches, well, please don't. Once again we have yet ANOTHER Christian article about how men are so sneaky and coniving and terrible. How these men should hold out and be thinking about the women more than themselves. Doesn't that go both ways? I'm sorry, but you're blaming men for your frien's choice. Men treat women poorly because women go for them. Its not complicated. I'm sorry to say it, but there are a ton of great guys out there who women are not interested in. Case in point that you brushed over in your article. Money. Well, now, how Consumerist Christian of her. He loves Jesus and he has a lot of money. Does that even remotely sound like the biblical Jesus? Good guys know this. A lot of my friends have given up on Christian women because they actually believed the stuff they heard in church. The women weren't paying attention, or didn't want to pay attention, and now they're the victim. Right. Cry me a river.

Excellent article. Thankfully, even though I've never put it into words, those are the principles I have upheld and it has worked out great. There's nobody better for a christian woman to share her life with, than a good christian man.