"A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute" (Proverbs 15:18).

Personal pride can often play a role in decreasing the amount of time it takes to get angry.  The desire to be right or be acknowledged as right can cause a person to speak louder, with more emotion, and without reason. 

In Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ book, Love & Respect, he says, “You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.”  I have found this to be true.  People don’t necessarily hear better at a higher volume, and in a relationship, the importance of maintaining self-control, being a person of reason, and speaking in the right tone is vital to the success of that relationship.

Refrain from Being Regretful

One of the first events chronicled in Moses’ adult life is in Exodus 2:11:  “He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his own people. Glancing this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand.”

I have to believe that anger played some sort of role in Moses’ action that day.  A person doesn’t revenge the beating of his own people by killing another without some sort of anger inside.  “When Pharaoh heard of this matter, he tried to kill Moses.  But Moses fled from the presence of Pharaoh and settled in the land of Midian” (Exodus 2:15).

The chain reaction that is caused by a response born out of anger can last a lifetime.  How would history have been altered had Moses been slow to become angry and considered the ramifications of killing the Egyptian?  I wonder how some events in my life would have turned out differently had I been slow to become angry instead of saying or doing something in the midst of my anger when I was young.

If you had the chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you did wrong in life, would you take it? And if you did, would you be big enough to stand it?

These words were penned by James McBride, author of The Color of Water, speaking about Mitch Albom’s latest book, For One More Day.  I hope that many of us would take the opportunity to make amends of something we had said or done that may have hurt someone in the past.  Why not prevent that regret in the first place by being slow to become angry?

Speak when you are angry—and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
—Laurence J. Peter

Preparing to Be a Good Mate

While I was doing some research on an online dating site, I found a section where a person chooses their “Can’t Stands,” things that they can’t (or won’t) stand for in another person.  When I was compiling my mock list, one item I noted was, “Anger … I can’t stand someone who can’t manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside.”  I imagine this may end up on many individuals' “can’t stand” lists when choosing mates, yet many relationships end, in part, due to what was said or done in the midst of anger, or because of anger.