I believe most men want a challenge and are strong and brave. If we women could control our emotions long enough without giving out signals of desperation, I believe almost any man that is emotionally healthy will ask us out, if they're truly interested.

The secret is to like yourself and be at peace with being single.

When you reach that point, the biggest problem is how to find time to be alone with the one YOU'RE interested in without the other men crowding in.

And like Elizabeth Elliott said in her book, PASSION AND PURITY, you wait till HE asks, no matter how badly you need his touch or kiss. And the wait will be worth it.

Good article with some good advice.

good

I think the article pinpoints how women feel; I've met someone that I believed to be special but now I'm ready to give up. I'm afraid if I say what I want, I'm going to be seen as needy or desperate. I want this person to pursue me, and he has expressed interest but based on the lack of action, I just don't see the kind of interest for anything to get off the ground. I guess I just need to let it go and God will do with it what he will.

I would like to point out the danger of focusing on uninhibited. The bible does call on us to have self control, one such example is in the book of Peter. Non-Christian men are operating on worldy values, while on the surface such moves may seem appealing, keep in mind this person is a stranger who knows nothing about your character and at the same time you know nothing about his character. This move is no different from when David saw Bathesheba.

Christian men I implore you not to yield to the pressure of these "sex and the city" worldly values. As men we are the spiritual leaders, so even if the women are calling for us to learn from the bad habits of the world hold your ground and consult God first. Be a man, gain a clear conscience and remember you are pursuing a woman for marriage. If you are shy ask for Godly help from your Pastor(hopefully he doesn't watch sex and the city). If she rejects you pray and turn your focus to God for direction.

i think dating is a must. how would you know each other if you dont? there are still some of us who are able to date without falling into sin. i speak for myself.

This is a very interesting article, but it paints the Christian man in a bad way. This article presents us as weak, insecure, and not as "manly" (or brave) as worldly men. Maybe it was written to incite emotional responses from men and get us to think more about the subject. If that's the case, then it succeeded. It is sad though when not only society (the world) sees Christian men as weak and fearful, but Christian women hold the same view. Then again, maybe there are some Christian men like that. There are worldly men who are like that as well. There are also more and more Christian women (like one of the previous posts mentioned) who do not have time. I don't know if women can blame some Christian men for their perceived shyness. I think it boils down to the fact that many of us flirted excessively while we were unsaved. Now that we are saved, there is very little (if any at all) guidance as to how to respectfully and compassionately approach a woman of God without using old tactics

We single men want church leaders to lay off the condemnation and assumption of evil intent for dating. There are more than a few who haven't gotten the word that it's ok for men and women to interact honorably outside of church without interference.

For women in those churches who have kissed this kind of nonsense goodbye, there's nothing wrong with knowing how to show a man that it's at least o.k. for him to approach, as Miss Kiesling indicates.

THIS IS JUST ONE MANS THOUGHTS I AM NOW HAPPLY MARRIED BUT IT HAS NOT ALWAYS BEEN SO - I AM A CHRISTIAN MAN AND I DID ASK OUT MANY WOMEN FROM CHURCH AND THESE ARE SOME OF THE STANDARD LINES I GOT BACK ------- I AM ONLY DATING JESUS--------I CANT DATE I AM SPENDING TIME FINDING MY SELF---------OR THE EVERY POPULAR WOMEN THAT HAS MADE HER SELF SO BUSY THAT SHE CANT DATE BECAUSE THERE IS NO TIME LEFT IN HER SCHEDULE BUT YET SHE COMPLAINS ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND A GOOD MAN OOOO JUST GO CRY ME A RIVER I AM SO TIRED OF WOMEN COMPLAING IT AINT NO EASYER BEING A MAN

Very interesting article. Just to clarify, I am a man. Years ago I had the same experience that a young friend of mine just went through. Back in the days when I was single I was once dropped by a woman with whom I thought we were well into the "interested" stage. She found a man who better met her criteria. Had she been up front with me about it, my distrust in women would not have jumped so much. But she didn't. I finally found out what was going on when I talked with another female friend of mine. This made me very tentative.

This exact same thing has just happened to my young friend. I wonder if single people read so much about "ideal" mates and "ideal" marriages and "ideal" dating that both men and women can find themselves on a continual lookout for someone better? And because people become too familiar with each other in the Christian groups they belong to, seeing flaws and difficulties up front, that there becomes the idea that God has someone better, yet. Just a thought!

Wah wah wah... More of the standard why aren't guys doing what women want. It is always about what men are doing wrong. Give me a break. Three fourths of this article are complaining men don't ask women out. Yet do women ever show signs of being interested in a man at all? No. Because they have been so ingrained with the "good girls don't initiate" garbage that they cannot even show interest without feeling they have "initiated". Further you get the "friend" trap. Oh yes, she'll only date friends, but then again once you become a friend she is unwilling to date you for fear of losing a friend. Now who is to blame there. Please cannot someone stop this incessant blaming of men for all the woes of single women!