The expectation seems to be that singles simply grin and bear it, that they accept their state and rejoice in it—and we should. Sometimes it seems as though those well meaning counselors desire that singles refrain from anything that suggests all is not well. But the deeper truth is that all is not well while Christ tarries. The world is not right and our hunger, our longing, is a part of what will be righted—later. So I am content to wait on Christ and will not act in the rashness of my desires—but I am not satisfied.

It is by no means proper to live by pretence and contentment does not demand a false smile and deluded conscience. No! What Paul teaches in Philippians is neither that all is well with the world nor that it is more spiritual to be in need. What Paul teaches is that one can be content even in the midst of need, even in the midst of longing. We can be content even if we are not satisfied. He said he was not writing because he was in need but he was in need. He was in prison. He was not writing because of his need. He wrote because of his joy and wanted to thank the Philippians for meeting his needs.
      
To be honest it would be easier to accept the fact that God will never bless me with a wife than to indefinitely nurture hope. It would be easier to resign and be satisfied than to harbor hope and take steps to change things. But, again, as Christians we live with the tension of promises yet unfulfilled. We are both content with all that is in Christ and yet there is a disquieted longing for more. We should ever be content but not satisfied.

• We have an assured future but an uncertain present.
• We have joy in God’s promises but the reality of present pain.
• We have peace through the God’s promises but sorrow is ever present.
• We know God will provide but some are literally starving.
• We are saved but must hunger and thirst after righteousness.
• We are spiritual wealthy but are called to be poor in spirit.
• We are to rejoice but those who mourn are promised comfort.
• We are blessed by God but often persecuted.
• We see God dimly but long for the day we will see Him clearly.
• Some of us…know the love of friends, family, and God but ache and long for a mate.

We are both content and not satisfied, and it’s okay. The mother who lost four children in one day considers them every day. She may wonder what it would be like if were there for Christmas or the family reunion. Every marriage and every birth near her will become a reminder that her sons will never know these pleasures or experience these milestones. And while most singles have not faced a death (though some have) their longing is much the same.

Every marriage and every birth is a reminder that they may never share in those pleasures or experience these milestones. To rejoice with others is still to know a pang of loss as though something had died. And while marriage may bring new problems and not end the deeper longing, it still feels as though year by year a dream is dying a slow death. We need not delude ourselves, marriage will not end the loneliness but it is a particular desire without which we are not satisfied.
      
It is the fact that I am not satisfied that keeps my eyes skyward, that bends my knees in prayer, that calls me to a deeper trust in the grace of God. I may not be satisfied but I have no fear of starving. I have no fear of TRULY being alone. It is dissatisfaction with my circumstances that presses me to hope for more, to try for more. But it is most certainly contentment in our circumstances and the God who overseas all things that will keep us, the dissatisfied, from despair.

 
Hudson Russell Davis was born on a small Island in the West Indies called Dominica, and this is only one reason he does not like cold weather and loves guava.  He is a graduate of James Madison University with a B.A. in Graphic Design and earned a Masters in Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary.  Currently he is a Ph.D. candidate at Saint Louis University studying historical theology.  Hudson has worked as a graphic artist and worship leader but expresses himself through poetry, prose, photography, and music. His activities are just about anything outdoors, but tennis is his current passion.

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