First of all I wanna thank Hudson for writing this,I really think it hit my feelings on the head.Now for the lady who says that she doesnt agree with it I rejoice for you that you can feel like being single is a choice and it's one she can live with but don't presume to tell those of us who feel like what we are going through isnt a loss.I sure didnt choose to remain unmarried all this time rather it was foisted on me and I dont like it not one bit and I am tired of people telling me it is such a blessing,it isnt.

I'm single and I love it! I see a lot of unhappy married people around me. Being single to me means not loss but hope for what might be. I think this article is a major downer. Anyone else out there who agrees that a person who lives a godly single lifestyle can be just as happy as someone who is married?

I'd be careful to discount the pain that someone feels because you think they are not supposed to or because it was by choice.

When Job was going through all that he went through, his friends tried to tell him why he was going through what he was going through and how he was supposed to be. They tried to make sense of his situation, but they just could not. It was Job's pain, not theirs.

You may not feel the pain that most do, but please be careful not to discount it by saying "it is not a loss," therefore implying that they just ought to get over it. It may not be "a loss," but to many, it feels like a loss, it hurts like a loss, they mourn as though it were a loss, and they question God as if it were. I believe that God honours that. It is real, it is honest, and it is theirs.

If I were you, I'd try to comfort those who mourn rather than tell them how they ought to handle hoping for something they may never have.

Lydiebee, I would have to completely disagree with you. Singleness to you might be a choice, but to many it is not. Even if it weren't, you can't just dismiss the pain that a single people feels by saying that it is a "state of being."

Think about this for a second. A mother lost a child to an accident, versus a wife that cannot bear children. To the mother who lost a child, she has to deal with the loss of a child and I am sure it hurts, but to the wife that cannot bear children, she deals with the loss of the dream of ever bearing children and I am sure that it hurts as well.

I am a single woman and I would love to be in a relationship and be married some day. Did I make a choice to be single, No. But I did make a choice to wait on God for the husband He has for me, and until He chooses to bring Him to me, I wait and hope. The waiting and hoping hurts like a loss and I feel it in my heart. It is my pain and though you may not feel it, it does not mean many others dont

I have recently had a loss or miscarriage and I felt that this would have been my all-time greatest life achievement. I have been lost ever since and trying to accept and appreciate God's decisions in my life have been really hard....reading Hudson's writing has touched me and helped me to look at my situation from a different perspective...I am not saying that I will see my way forward overnight and no one writer or writers can possibly alleviate how I feel at this time...but his words are so appropriate at this time of my life in my wilderness that I have passed on this page to my friends to share with them some things I can't say out loud sometimes...I look forward to more of his writings and have sent him an email with some insights to my experiences throughout this year...I am sure that the person who introduced me to this site will be pleased to know as that this writer share our country of birth...Keep the good stuff coming....you've helped me immensely to appreciate singleness

You are not dating because you are choosing not to date. Not because something is wrong with you. Because you are choosing not to. As soon as you decide you are ready to date again, if you decide that, you will find someone. I am not saying that your path hasn't been difficult. I disagree with the tone of this article. I am glad that God spoke to you with it.

You assume that I have never lost a significant other. I assure you that I have at a very difficult time in my life. About 1 week after the passing of a friend. There is nothing wrong with you. I don't know how you lost your spouse, to divorce or death because you did not specify. Either way, it is said that losing a spouse via divorce is comparable to losing a spouse to death. You grieve the same way. The process is the same. Please do not assume I have not experienced the loss of a loved one. I suppose I am just tired of asking myself why I do not have someone. I would rather just find someone than continue to ask this question of myself. Because there is nothing wrong with me, just as there is nothing wrong with you. So what then is holding you back but yourself. Am I saying these questions are not valid no. I am saying I am tire of reading the same type of articles about singleness. It isn't a loss. Losing someone is a loss. Being single is simply a state of being.

Lyddie, you're missing the point altogether. Just because it doesn't seem like a loss to you, doesn't mean that it's NOT a loss. I am living with both the loss of a spouse, nine years ago, and the same thoughts that the author of the article brings up. Will I ever remarry? Is there some reason I am not dating? Is there something wrong with me?

I trust God to bring me through this. But I'm not going to go around and say that people who are struggling with this have not really gone through a loss. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes, please, before you make that kind of statement.

Also, singleness is not a loss! Nowhere close to a loss. If you are grieving for what you don't have, you are failing to see what you do have because you are so focused on that which you don't. You simply cannot compare the loss of a friend or loved one with losing what you don't have. Losing what you don't have is imaginary. Losing what you did have is incredibly real.

Shouldn't we be rejoicing in what we do have in the present moment instead of focusing on what we want for the future? Shouldn't we figure out how we can help God give us the desires of our hearts by taking steps? Why should God do all the work in providing us with significant others? I am tired of reading about how hard it is to be single and the dissatisfaction that accompanies being single. Maybe the key is to stop longing for what we don't have, see what good things we do have, praise God for them, and trust that God will provide an opportunity for meeting someone. All we have to do is be open to the opportunity and instead of being dissatisfied wait in eager anticipation and excitement at what the change of being in a relationship will bring and what growth will occur with it. I am single, I don't want to pity myself for being single, instead I want to learn how I can overcome the obstacles that are keeping me single. How I can go about meeting someone, etc.