Dear Me,

First of all, I'm sorry. If you've come to this file named "In Case of Singleness Stinks Day, Read This," it means you're in a funk. Even though I'm not currently in that place, I know it's hard and I'm sorry for your pain.

It could be any number of things that triggered this funk—a breakup, another Me Night, a helpless feeling when you couldn't reach the light fixture on your nine-foot ceilings to change a burnt-out bulb, an insensitive comment about your singleness, a long day at the end of which you just wanted a hug, a wedding invite to which you have absolutely no idea whom to bring with you—or possibly it was nothing more than waking up. I know sometimes these things just happen.

Since you're funkified, I also know you're likely not thinking altogether rationally. You need a balanced perspective, a pep talk, and some wise advice, none of which you're of right mind to provide for yourself. So that's why now, when I'm in a good place regarding my singleness, I've jotted down a few thoughts.

First, a snapshot of the view from here: The Me Night I had last Friday wasn't lonely, but was needed time to myself. Because I was alone, I was able to take a bit of a gamble and rent an obscure comedy, which turned out to be delightful. Also because I was alone, I laughed louder, hogged the couch, and paused the flick selfishly for every needed coffee refill or bathroom break. I may have even done a little dance to the Spanish music during the closing credits. Thankfully, no one was there to roll their eyes.

The Girls Night Out with four single friends the following evening felt like a meeting of our own little secret society, where everyone knows the lingo, the trials, and the joys. Where everyone just understands. After a funny flick, we hit a local restaurant, where the waiter flirted openly with us, because that's what you do with a table full of single girls. We split appetizers and desserts, and shared intriguing conversations about whether God has us single on purpose or whether it's a byproduct of cultural shifts and trends. The talk was stimulating, the women at the table dynamic, accomplished gals, two of whom are in the process of going back to school to pursue new ministry directions or higher degrees. Because right now, they can do so fairly easily.

Right now, riding alone in my car practically everywhere I go seems like my own private space to have heart-to-hearts with God, to hear my thoughts or talk them through to conclusions, or simply to sing my heart out with the radio or to the latest worship song floating through my brain. My solo home feels like my little haven from the outside world. A place where I am queen, chief decorator, social director, and guest. A place where I chat aloud with God in the shower, at the sink while washing dishes, in bed before falling asleep in the very middle of my queen-size mattress.

Right now, being able to chat endlessly with my single male friends without worrying about boundaries and appropriateness is a wonderful blessing. Being able to flirt with a variety of men is a thrill. Walking into a roomful of people and wondering if I'll meet a special someone there, and being able to lock eyes with an intriguing stranger for a few seconds, these are exciting adventures. Knowing that if there's a love of my life, I still get to experience meeting him for the first time, going on our first date, and enjoying our first kiss feels like blissful promise. I am a story unfolding, and some of the juiciest parts are yet to come.