On the heels of admonishing couples to engage in conjugal relations, Paul says, "yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that." Paul expresses joy in regard to the providence of God in his life. Two points may be made here in light of Paul's wish.

The first point is that Paul is not married. Does Paul mean that he wishes that all persons were not married? In light of God’s pronouncement of marriage as good and in light of His command to be fruitful and multiply, we doubt Paul means he wishes no one was married. Certainly, one of the ways in which Christians fulfill the cultural mandate of Genesis 1 and the great commission of Matthew 28 is to produce godly offspring who will influence the world for Christ. Paul is most likely referring to the self-control he has in the area of sexual relations and the contentment he has in his calling.

It is likely that Paul had been married at one time. By Jewish law, one had to be married in order to be a Pharisee. Paul was a Pharisee prior to his conversion. It is likely that his wife either died or that she divorced him when he became a Christian. She, as well as the Jewish leaders would have viewed Paul as a traitor to the faith and declared him dead. While it is probable that Paul was married at some point (other textual evidence exists to confirm this dynamic, which will be dealt with later, vv. 8f; 25f), we do not know that dynamic to be a fact nor do we know the circumstances that led to his current singleness. Thus, Paul does not disparage the institution of marriage, rather, he rests in the self-control God has given him in his circumstances.

The second point is that Paul affirms that each has his gift from God. Specifically, Paul refers to the gift of self-control and the gift of proper-desire. Both of these dynamics are gifts from God. The gift of self-control in this context is specific to self-control in regard to sexual desire. Those with this gift do not struggle with desire in this area that they might be devoted wholeheartedly/full-time to the gospel ministry (whether vocationally or bi-vocationally). Those with the gift of proper-desire have a desire for proper sexual relations in the proper context, namely, marriage.

By proper-desire we do not refer to lust. Thus, in the broader sense, Paul refers to the gift of singleness and the gift of marriage. If one has the gift of self-control, he/she then has the gift of singleness that he/she might be singularly be devoted to the gospel. If one has the gift of proper-desire, then he/she has the gift of marriage that he/she might fulfill his/her God-given role in that context.