"The concept of masculinity is in flux, leaving many confused about what it means to be a man.” (Tom Valeo, WebMD)
Young Vision
When I was 8 years old, I was in love. Her name was Sherry Collins. We met one morning at the air base daycare center and had our first “date” by week’s end. My parents drove us to a movie theater to watch who knows what—hey, I was in love.
To this day, I don’t know what Mom and Dad thought about our young courtship (I never asked them), but they used it as an opportunity to impart some important lessons of life. I clearly remember Mom telling me about my gentlemanly duties: “Regis, when in the company of a young lady, a gentleman opens the door for her, helps her into her chair, and escorts her on the traffic side of the sidewalk.”
That last item baffled me.
“Why’s that, Mom?”
“To protect her from a stray car or a rude comment.”
Even at my tender age, Mom’s instruction reinforced my notion that men are to be courteous and protective toward women.
At one of my high school reunions, I was talking to a lady from my graduating class. At some point in our conversation, the topic turned to the guys in our class and she remarked, “Regis, you were one of the nice ones.” The lady next to her nodded.
Make no mistake, I was no saint. Whatever these woman saw in me years ago, Mom and Dad get the credit. They instilled principles that became a standard of manhood throughout my early life. But during college something happened that rattled all I had been taught.
Lost Vision
When I attended Georgia Tech, the male-to-female ratio was 50 to 1—a condition that was both blessing and curse. The lack of coeds meant one less distraction from the rigors of my engineering curriculum. But when the distraction could no longer be suppressed, it was exile on Testosterone Island.
For those of us without a car, an occasional four-mile hike to Emory—a cross-town university with a more balanced ratio—was in order. However, in spite of our Himalayan hopes, our off-campus adventures resulted in little more than gawking and wishful thinking.