For the majority of guys, midlife is an experience to be ranked on a scale somewhere between "a cake walk" and a "trip to hell and back." In other words, chances are you are reading this book because you have a desire to take some stock of your life, recalculate your priorities, and position yourself to have a great "second half." Most of you are not in free fall, feeling like your entire world is coming apart—but maybe you do believe that certain pieces of it are indeed fraying at the ends. Maybe you know you've made mistakes along the way, and that you're carrying some bags on your back with labels like "unfulfilled dreams," "regrets," "disillusionment," or "guilt." And you know what? We are too! The good news is, it's time to lose the baggage and grab hold of the amazing (though not always easy) things God has in store for you at this phase of the journey.

In other words, you're normal—whatever "normal" is, other than a midsized city in Illinois.

So it's time to learn how to pack lightly, gentlemen, because on the trip we're taking, there's only room for a couple of light carryons. As you'll see, previous sins, gaffs, screw-ups, regrets, and guilt fit neither under the seat in front of you nor in God's overhead compartment. (Whatever that means—heaven maybe? We really don't know. It's just an analogy; it's best not to think too much about it).

When from the crest of the formidable speed bump that is midlife we look back on our lives, most of us see that what we've been so busy doing with our lives is our absolute darndest to successfully fulfill—or perhaps just survive—what amounts to four distinct Life Roles: that of Son, Husband, Provider, and Father. These are the Life Roles that most of us at first simply inhabit, and then (less simply) become.

So remember, guys: It's Roles, Inhabit, Become. Or RIB—as in what Adam discovered he was missing just before his big life role became Just Like Eve, But Different. (And don't forget: We are all members of the Adam's Family.)

Here's the thing, though, about those four Manliest of Roles: By midlife, they have radically and permanently changed. What in one way or another wakes and shakes up every man in midlife is the dawning truth that he can no longer continue to be the only person he's spent his entire life learning how to be.

We've learned how to be good sons—but then find that our parents need us to care or provide for them.

We've learned how to be good husbands—but then the bodies and sexuality (to name but two aspects) of both ourselves and our wives change into something with which we have no experience at all.

We've learned how to be good providers—but then find that we're becoming obsolete in the workplace, or we realize that the careers we've spent so long carving for ourselves have almost nothing to do with what we've always really wanted to do with our lives, or we've simply become painfully bored with our jobs. Or maybe we just want to retire—and yet can barely imagine what that actually means.