"And this is my prayer that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God" (Phil. 1:9-11 NIV).

To be loving in a meaningful way toward others requires discernment which, in turn, requires a good knowledge and understanding of people. A person's gestalt (pronounced geh-shtalt) is an individual's core thoughts and experiences which, when integrated as a whole, constitute who he really is, as opposed to the pieces of himself defining his core personality and character. Jesus is great at nailing people's gestalt, and once He gets a handle He goes for it. He can go there because He loves them deeply. This is why for God's man there is a clear connection between having a deep, Christ-like love for people and the quantity of insight God gives you into others. Similarly, there is huge disdain and chastisement by Jesus of those with spiritual costumes pretending to care for people in the name of God but who are clueless as to the real needs of the heart. These guys are doing more damage in God's name than good because their behavior says they love themselves more than they love the people they say they're trying to guide and help spiritually. The point is: Why would God give any man a ton of insight into people if there was selfishness or mixed motives at his core?

There is also a clear encouragement to understand what really matters in life in order integrate those core values into your relationships with others. Our task as God's men who want to connect with others is to be guided by a real love for them and an ability to see the important stuff or discern what really matters to God, to them, and to their way of thinking. What's that you say? It means you care enough to know their heart issues and are good at asking questions connected to the heart. 

Kenny Luck is the Men's Pastor at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. He is also the Founder and President of Every Man Ministries which helps churches worldwide develop and grow healthy men's communities. Please visit www.everymanministries.com for more information.