Lifetime Bond

At least it was for a while. After I left the scouts I gradually forgot about the Pinewood Derby. Life goes on, and I wasn’t exactly the camp-craft type. Yet my dad didn’t forget. He mentioned it when he spoke at my graduation. (I graduated as part of a homeschool group in a “class” of five. All of our dads said a few words.) He talked about how we had worked on the car together and how he was just as excited as I was when we won the race.

For some reason this incident stands out in my mind as a prime example of what being a dad is all about. Of course, over the years, my dad did many more important things for me than help me build a little wooden race car. He worked long hours at often thankless jobs to provide for my brothers and me. He taught me the meaning of honor and self-sacrifice. But helping me build a winning race car is somehow seared into my mind.

Most of what I know about being a dad I’ve learned by example more than experience, since my son is not quite one year old. And I have seen how one of the most important things a dad can do for his kids is spend time with them. It seems so obvious it almost sounds cliché. Dad was there when the chips were down; he knew how to encourage me and channel my energy in the right direction. He understood that the little dramas and setbacks we face as children prepare us for how we handle life’s stresses as adults. And he rejoiced in my triumph—be it large or small.

In the 2002 movie the Count of Monte Cristo, the Count toasts a young man at a coming of age party:

Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man... is what you do when that storm comes.

The storms of life refine our character. Losing the local Pinewood Derby is pretty mild as far as trials and tribulations go. Yet Dad knew how much it meant to me, and he came through. In many ways, his love for me represented the love of our Father in heaven.

For most, the path toward faith is often rocky—rockier for some more than others—but good dads help us through it. In his book Becoming a Dad (Relevant, 2005), David Thomas writes:

Now I have the opportunity to walk my own children through their journeys of childhood and adolescence. I have a lot of fear around that journey. I don’t look forward to any seasons of life that include introducing my kids to pain and disappointment. . . . Even though I know and believe, with everything in me, that it will make them strong, resilient, courageous, and compassionate.

To that I can only say, “Amen.” I saw my dad face this, and now it is my turn. This Father’s Day, it’s appropriate to reflect on the ways our dads helped lead us down the right path. Be the right kind of dad, the kind that helps with the race. Statistics tell us that such dads are becoming rare in our culture. We need to make sure they don’t become extinct.

So, happy Father’s Day, Dad. Thanks for your help with the races, Pinewood Derby and otherwise.

Stephen McGarvey is the Executive Editor of Crosswalk.com and Christianity.com. He previously worked for BreakPoint. He is also a Fellow of the World Journalism Institute and a freelance writer. He lives with his wife, Candice, and son, Alex, in Virginia.
"From BreakPoint, June 16, 2005, reprinted/posted with permission of Prison Fellowship, www.breakpoint.org.”

Original Crosswalk.com publication date: June 16, 2009