Find Healing from the Emotionally Destructive Relationship

I was in a destructive relationship in which I was almost destroyed. I am getting help. But out of it, I never new how a Christian man who loves the Lord, could have these patterns.
After infidelity with both men and women and my Son being the one to sit me down with this, I got help and asked my husband to get help... he wouldn't said God healed Him through books, like, those by Charles Kraft. My church tried, but I chose divorce...Then, with Guilt as a Christian woman, who understands strongholds(getting my help,too) I said reconcilation...but I did my work, he didn't do his, in fact was "counseling" women on line, didn't know, and now he's gone after he fellfor someone in another state. is engaged after two months, and getting married
My question to Christian women, is when does someone from church say enough is enough.. when is there accountability so we are protected from this. When is reconcilation no more?
thanks... and yes, I'm happily married to my Lord...
healing is grand.

There is very good advice in this article. I find it expecially hard to deal with certain family members who are controlling and just blunt and overall pushy with their points of view. I had read that book called "Boundaries" and thought I would confront certain ones. This confrontation only made them angrier and less refusing to change until I made it clear they were hurting more than helping with their words. It has been hard as we're not supposed have difficulties like this in Christian families. I had been shocked by their comments and insensitivity or outright judgmentalism in other situations so I assumed they'd react to any problems I had the same way. So I still would like to see them grow and change but I know it's God's job not mine but I have trouble with my own anger when I get to thinking of the problems and things that have been said.

What if the person that continually hurts you is your mother?