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Do You Yearn for Meaningful Friendships?

Do You Yearn for Meaningful Friendships?

Tracy Klehn

Author, Growing Friendships

Friend: One attached to another by affection or esteem.

To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue.
—C. S. Lewis

Flowers can brighten up a room and put a smile on your face. They can also be expensive if you are the one purchasing them. For most people, flowers are an "extra" and not a "must have." That is to say that if you're low on cash, or you're a starving student, buying your­self a bouquet of flowers might be a little farther down on your list of priorities than say, Krispy Kreme donuts (the real "must have").

So if flowers are not necessarily needed for survival, what is their purpose? They make life more beautiful with their vibrant colors and heady aromas. Perhaps they even remind us of a certain person or a certain place, or they represent an expression of love, sympathy, or encouragement.

In The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis writes: "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival."

I used to have a hard time enjoying the flowers my husband would bring me. Not because I didn't think they were lovely, and not because I didn't appreciate his thoughtfulness. I had a hard time because I felt it was too extravagant to spend money on something that was just going to last a few days and then die. So my husband started planting flowers for me outside, flowers that we could keep, grow, and enjoy. Unfortunately, these plants have all died a slow death.

It is somewhat ironic, then, since flowers are not my forte and I am by no means a gardener, that the symbolism I would choose to use in this book is that of a specific flower—the daisy. While there may not be anything growing in my front yard, there are some gorgeous blossoms in my life. The flowers that I love to look at any time of the day or night, the flowers that I love to grow with, nurture, and enjoy, are the daisies that I call my girlfriends.

Daisies sure are cheerful little flowers, aren't they? They seem to show up everywhere ... on hillsides, by streams, in gardens. The generic name for the daisy is actually bellis, which is derived from the Latin for beautiful. Daisies are indeed beautiful, and they are easily recognizable. Likewise, most people have seen or heard of a daisy chain, which is a handful of these cheerful flowers strung together in a row.

When I think of friendships, I think of these daisy chains. I think of friendships as gathering the individual flowers that are in our midst and connecting them to make something even lovelier.

When it comes to friendship, I do not believe that we scatter a few magic beans (like Jack, for his beanstalk) and grow ourselves a circle of friends. We are not the ones who grow friends. God is the Master Gardener. Isaiah 60:21 says, "They are the shoot I have planted, the work of my hands, for the display of my splendor" (emphasis mine).

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Most Recent User Comments
fairlady
12/27/2007 11:45 AM
I think friendship has become a lost art...just as marraiges crumble due to lack of commitment, so do friendships.
If people viewed everyone as someone who is their friend for a lifetime...and treated them as such, then I think friendship would not be viewed as a come and go thing, but as something that we all grow into deeper as the relationship strengthens.
We've got "fast food" friendships and use people for our own ends rather than following Jesus' pattern. He said "I have called you friends". An old quote says, "A stranger is a friend whom I haven't yet met". And Proverbs says "A friend loves at all times". This means in fair and foul weather.
When we return to viewing people through the eyes of Christ's love and friendship for us, we will not look at people as "ministries" or "projects" or something to add to our resume of "look who I've helped out", but instead we will seek to bless and become blessed with friendships that are for a lifetime, just as marraige should be.
sanangel
12/7/2007 11:05 AM
yes i yearn for a meaningful relationship....but i will not date because the way the men in the world are..they usually want one thing.....and i am trying to live the word...bible........i want to be loved and cared about...my childhood was great but i married wrong 3 times.....but i want to be loved and have a marriage where god lives in the marriage......i married abusive men, that said they believed in the lord but women were really not any good because eve deceived adam...and one believed homosexuality was ok......but i believe it is a abomination to the lord........another subject does anyone know where i could hear the song oh beautiful star of bethlehem shine on........thank you ...god bless........sanangel
callie23
12/5/2007 4:16 PM
This is such a good article. It just reminds me that I can not give up on praying for friendships in my life to blossom. Being a young mom...I don't have a lot in common with other people my age! So, it gets lonely. I love this, though. Very encouarging. Thank You!
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