Angie tried every diet that exists. Then she began binging and throwing up. Soon she was on a weight-loss rollercoaster that caused her health problems and didn’t keep her weight down for very long. Food controlled Angie. The solution to her problem with food had always been nearby; she’d just chosen to overlook it.

The Secret
Angie’s Story

My weight problem started when I was about eight years old. A thin girl around my age told me to my face that I was fat, and I remember how badly she hurt my feelings.

Most of my family is overweight. Dealing with my weight problem was an ongoing struggle throughout my childhood and teen years. Even when I wasn’t hungry I ate, but at the same time I was extremely eager to lose the weight. I’ve always been an emotional binge eater with an obsession for food. I was binging so much that both my mind and body didn’t know what was going on. Food became my comfort. I ate when I was happy and when I was sad. Sometimes I ate so much that my stomach would ache in agony. At times I had to unbutton my pants, make my way to a couch, or lie down. Needless to say, two hours later I would be right back at it.  

I was really depressed over my indulgence with food, which was often.  I forced myself to go on a diet. I took the latest diet pills and made false promises to myself and to everyone else that I would stay on that particular diet and lose the weight for good. But after a few days, I always clung to the food and would get into the same vicious cycle.  It was as if I were in an abusive relationship with food. I loved it, but I hated how it made me feel. Food controlled me, and I allowed it to do so. I overate all of the time, and this cycle went on for years.

It was pathetic. I was embarrassed, and I felt horrible about myself. I knew exactly how I would feel if I ate too much, but I did it anyway. I knew what it would do to my thighs, butt, waist, and hips—but I continued to overeat.

At one point, I read that Albert Einstein supposedly said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” I began to wonder if I were a crazy person with an eating problem. It was so out of control that I knew I had to make a lifestyle change—so I did.

It was extremely hard, but with some help I started to get my life under control. I started drinking plenty of water and exercising every day. Sometimes that exercise might be simply parking farther away from the school entrance so that I had a longer walk, but it counted.