For the Ordinary Mom
Debbie Holloway is a storyteller, creator, critic, and advocate having adventures in Brooklyn, New York.More
- 2013 Nov 26
After a quiet night of tending to her sick daughter and tucking her into bed, blogger Sarah Mae made a profound realization: though she is an ordinary mom, though she is imperfect, God has made her a mother and gives her the strength to carry out her tasks. She admits to often struggling with feelings of failure, writing,
“I don’t teach them scripture enough, read to them enough, do enough. Sometimes I let them watch too much T.V., and I wonder, ‘Am I just a big failure as a mom?’”
But then she continues,
“You know what? No! I’m not a failure as a mom, and neither are you.
I’m deciding right now not to focus on my weaknesses, or my failings, but rather on the fact that I love my children and they are taken care of, nurtured, prayed over, snuggled into, and invested in.
Not perfectly, but lovingly, by the grace of God.”
Over at iBelieve.com, blogger Julia Cheung is learning to make peace with the guilt she sometimes feels over her need for solitude.
“’Well’, muses [my friend] Lavone, “I think of Psalm 139. Solitude. You’re going through a tough transition that revolves around the core of your identity.’ And indeed I have been — I’m transitioning from stay-home mom to working mom. ‘It’s a rough time in your life and you need solitude to process your own motives and desires. There’s nothing wrong with solitude.’
Julia shares how looking at Scripture made her realize that she can deal with these different seasons in her own way and not have to feel like a failure of a mother, friend, or woman.
“And I can’t believe I’m actually writing this — I’m still scared that it will give me license to be lazy and irresponsible — but I am thankful that being a ditcher once in a while might actually be contained by God’s too-good-to-be-true grace in Christ.”
In Crosswalk blogger Julianna Morlet’s piece “My Daughter Needs Me to Stop Striving for Perfection,” she writes:
“If there's one thing I've learned so far, in my short stint of this marathon, it's that motherhood isn't an end goal, it's a journey. The failure, the struggle, the joy and exceeding expectations are part of it all; or so I hear.
I may not be as perfect as I'd hoped to be, but I'm learning to accept that right now, at this point in my journey, to my baby girl, I'm as good of a mother as I can be.”
And in the Crosswalk video interview “No Such Thing as a Perfect Family,” former CEO of MOPS Elisa Morgan reaches similar conclusions.
So what about you? Do you struggle daily with feelings of inadequacy in the long road of motherhood? If so, allow Sarah Mae to remind you:
“I think the enemy wants us so focused on our weaknesses so that we can forget about all the good things we bring to our children…I especially think that if you’re concerned if you’re doing a good job or not, you probably are a great parent.”
Debbie Holloway is the Family Life Editor for Crosswalk.com
Publication date: November 26, 2013