This last week, I have been broken-hearted to see a number of videos of individuals who grew up in the church that are now turning away. They boldly proclaim why they have left the toxic church culture, explaining how they are now enlightened.
The church is toxic.
The church is abusive.
The church keeps people enslaved.
The church is controlling.
On and on they go, explaining how they are finally free of the chains of religion!
As I've thought about these individuals, I've really struggled to understand. As a former pastor's wife, I know how ugly and abusive church people can be. I understand what it is to have church leaders abuse their power. I have lived with the dichotomous life.
But my faith not only survived these abusive situations brought on by religious people; my faith was actually strengthened!
So why is it that we can face such similar situations and have such drastically different outcomes?
I'm sure you've heard it before, but I will say it again: it's because I am not religious!
Yes, I go to church. Yes, I read my Bible. Yes, I pray. Yes, I believe in the Great I AM. Yes, my life revolves around my faith.
But I am not religious.
I just love Jesus!
And that, my friends, is the difference. Some people live in religion. They are marked by the trappings of a form of faith. They adhere to a set of man-made rules. They try to live within the confines of what it takes to get to heaven.
But they are missing the most important part of Christianity: grace.
God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. Ephesians 2:8-9
Nothing we do can make Him love us more. Nothing we do can make Him love us less. Nothing we do can get us to heaven. It is by His grace, by His free gift alone.
So what is the difference between religion and truly knowing Jesus, knowing the character of the God of the Universe?
Religion oppresses. Relationship frees. So often I hear how the church--religion--is oppressive. Women must submit. The Bible endorses slavery. Absolutely no divorce is allowed. Women must remain in abusive marriages.
All of that is phooey! the Bible is all about freedom--grace rather than living under the law! This grace does not give us a license to let sin run rampant; we are still called to live a holy life! But, so many of these church doctrines and scriptures have been taken out of the greater context of scripture and of the culture in which they were written! God never intended us to be oppressed. Instead, He is unequivocally on the side of the oppressed! He called us to lives of freedom!
Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32
Religion judges. Relationship loves. How many times have Christians been on the news for what they are against? I remember the 90s when the Southern Baptists boycotted Disney. We hear all the time how Christians are homophobic and racist. Can I just tell you that anyone with this mentality is not living as Christ called us to live?
Christ called us to live lives of love.
Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” John 13:35
Of all people on earth, out love should outshine everything we do! We are supposed to be like God and God is love (1 John 4:8)! Our love should draw others to us, and we simply can't love like God without truly knowing Him. As we love, God can use our lives--our transformation into His image--to show others what it is to live a life of holiness!
Religion follows rules. Relationship desires obedience. I grew up with a strict code of conduct, what was expected of me by my beliefs and my church. No smoking. No drinking. No cursing. No dancing. Honestly, I still mostly adhere to those behaviors but it's because those are the rules I want for myself. I don't have any desire to put potentially harmful substances into my body. But if I wanted to drink alcohol occasionally? That's perfectly fine.
Hebrews 6:4-8 refers to those Jewish believers who have put their faith in Christ only to abandon their faith to return the Jewish rituals. The passage is referring to the importance of spiritual growth, of moving forward in our faith. Sadly, there are many Christians today who have never moved forward in faith but continue to practice rituals meant to please God. That is religion.
Here's the thing: just like I want to please my husband, my kids, my parents, and all those I love, I want to please my Jesus! He has done so much for me, and I desire to walk in obedience. It's not because I want a strict set of rules but it's because I have such a love for Him and trust that He has my best interest in mind.
Religion creates fear. Relationship creates love, joy, peace and more. Have you ever met someone who controlled by fear? They use fear as a tool to create the outcomes they desire. Religion is often used to control people, to create an environment of fear that makes people live a certain way. Fear of hell. Fear of punishment. Fear of life.
Relationship, however, creates so much love, joy and peace! I have people who call when they just need a gentle, reassuring voice. Why? Because my life is generally marked by love, joy, and peace. Because I exude a calm that transcends chaos. Because God has given me the gift of the fruit of the Spirit. It's nothing I do; it is truly a gift that comes from my relationship with Him.
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:22-23
Religion is worthless. Relationship is irresistible. Do you truly know Jesus? If you do, you know His love is irresistible. It draws us to Him. It changes our lives. It becomes our lives when we truly surrender and let Him have His way in us. If you haven't experienced the irresistible love of the Savior, please reach out. I'd love to help you know Him, to shed religion and fall in love with the Savior who gave His life for you!
...having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. 2 Timothy 3:5
